‘I’d say a few months at least, while the ground thaws out. Let’s take a walk and discuss it.’ And get out of Summer’s distracting orbit. ‘I’ll get my coat.’
I’m already heading to the rear of the house when Summer races up behind me, accompanied by the scurry of Rufus’s claws on the wooden floor.
‘I’ll get mine too.’
‘You’re not needed for this, Summer.’
‘But I want to come. If I’m to—if we’re to live here—I should get to know the lay of the land.’
I shake my head, give a soft huff.
‘What?’ she asks.
I say nothing as I shove open the door to the boot room and grab a weatherproof coat from the hook.
‘What, Edward? Are you implying that because I’m a woman I can’t—?’
‘No, Summer!’ I spin to face her and she’s wide-eyed. Even Rufus has frozen. ‘It has nothing to do with you being a woman and everything to do with you. Who you are.’
‘What—? What are you saying?’
I shake my head, choke on a laugh that feels more like a sob. ‘Playing at house. Acting serious, like you’re going to stick around this time. When just last night you reiterated how you never stay in one place long enough to settle, to create a home.’
‘But... Edward, this is different. I want to do what Katherine requested. I want to play my part and look after this place.’
‘How long for, Summer? A month? Two...?’
How could she not see how much this was killing me? Or maybe she could and she simply didn’t care?
‘You know how long for.’
‘Oh, that’s right—a year. And then you’ll leave and not look back.’
‘No. It won’t be like that.’
I stare down at her hard, trying desperately to calm my pulse. My anger stems from my panic, not her. This isn’t her fault. She doesn’t deserve my wrath. Gran has put us in this situation and I only have myself to blame for wanting more...so much more than Summer will ever want to give.
I force my shoulders to ease, my voice to soften. ‘Whatever the case, you don’t need to be involved in this. I’ve been running the estate for Gran long enough. I know the staff, the routine, the responsibility.’
She wets her lips. ‘But I don’t want to be a spare part. I like to keep busy.’
And don’t I know it? Always dashing from one thing to the next, one country to the next even, probably fearful that her feet might get stuck.
‘You’re not a spare part. Like you said last night, you have the time and the freedom to carry on Gran’s good work. So do it, Summer. Go and do some good and I’ll take care of managing the estate.’
I shove my arms into the jacket, make for the door.
‘But Edward, I thought—last night—that we—’
She breaks off, her eyes searching mine, as if I can somehow finish that sentence for her. But my mind is racing, remembering her in my arms, her coming apart around my touch, calling out my name, that earth-shattering connection...
Breathe. Speak.
‘Last night—Last night was a mistake. We were both in a weird head-space. Returning here, the inheritance, the memories, your nightmare...all of it.’
‘You want to pretend it didn’t happen?’ she asks quietly. ‘That it didn’t...didn’t mean something?’
‘Yes, Summer, that’s exactly what I want.’