“I’ve been thinking about this—all of us—for a long time. Fantasies. Asking myself how two people who loved each other could share... it’s all been in my head for years, and I never looked too deeply into the why. When you told me you wanted me to be a part of that... I needed a new perspective once everything started to come together. I’m sorry it hurt you, but I can’t apologize for taking time to figure it out. That is what it is.”
Grayson rested a finger under my chin, lifted my head, and brushed his lips over mine. It was a feather-light touch, but it still sent a shock crashing over me, like shoving icy skin under scalding water. It ached all the way to my core, but I didn’t want to pull away from the relief.
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what this apology was for. It didn’t matter, if it earned me more tenderness and understanding.
“It’s not your fault.” Grayson’s words were as much a relief as the kiss. “I understand not getting it at first. I’ve had years to deal with the fact that Jax— I’m happy you see the situation from a new perspective I’m happy it was you who made that decision. He may not come around so easily, but I fucking missed you, Sadie.”
“I missed you too.” I rose up a little, and stole another kiss. “I can’t believe all these years, I never thought what we did in front of the camera...”
“Was flirting? In a way, I’m glad, because it meant you never stopped.”
I smiled. First real one in a few days. It felt incredible. “What about Jax?” Who I was almost certain now was listening.
“He’s been waiting for you for years. And once he found out why you pushed him away... “
“He never told—” I clamped my jaw shut. He had told me how he felt. Several times. I ignored him, or threw it back at him forteasingme. I believed Chase had no idea back then what that one little lie would become, but it had shaped at least two lives for the next ten years. “I can’t make things right if he won’t talk to me.”
Grayson grasped my fingers, tugged me to my feet, and wrapped an arm around my waist. He kissed me again, harder this time. It wasn’t one of those ravenous, face-devouring kisses we’d shared before, but it was deep and intense, and I swore I felt his soul mingling with mine.
He pulled back and bushed a thumb over my bottom lip. “You already know he’s in the other room, listening to everything.”
“I guessed. How do I get him to talk to me?”
“He’s still deciding if that’s a good idea.” Jax’s voice came from behind. “But watching you suck face with his boyfriend is forcing his hand.”
What should have been playful words were carried on a stiff tone. If I couldn’t make things right with Jax... I didn’t know what I’d do.
Chapter Twenty-One
Iturned to see Jaxlounging against the wall leading to the kitchen, his arms crossed. He was as heartachingly sexy as he’d always been.
It was tempting to keep dwelling onso much wasted time, but this was a chance to move forward. “It doesn’t matter if you heard it all. I’ll repeat it over and over, if you want,” I said.
“The day you moved, when I propositioned you, I was surprised as fuck you saidyes. You’d pushed me away for so long, it’s nice to finally understand why.” Jax’s voice was thick with the same emotion clogging my throat. “I only asked for discretion because being out—any kind ofoutthat people don’t think isnormal—is hard. When you didn’t react well, Chase was a convenient excuse, but not one I should have used. Maybe if I’d pushed harder, at any point between then and now...”
“I wouldn’t have reacted any better.” We could play thewhat ifgame for days, around that one little thing that kept us apart. It wouldn’t change anything. “I’m not concerned about what other people think. My life is half on display anyway, and people can take their shitty judgments and go fuck themselves.”