Chapter One
Amelie
“Do not stand by my grave and weep…” the priest or minister or whatever he’s called drones on, reciting some famous death poem or other.
Easier said than done.
I thought I’d be immune to today. Numb. But sly tears sneak past my defences and snake their way down my face.
Wordlessly, the guy on my right hands me a tissue and I take it gratefully. I wipe my eyes and pocket the item, knowing that now the water works have started, I’ll need it again.
A gentle nudge draws my attention and I look at the guy on my left.
“Amelie, it’s time.”
He nods toward the white rose in my hand. It symbolises loyalty. Everyone in attendance here today has one, but only family will place theirs on top of the coffin.
Stepping forward on shaky legs, I place my rose in the centre of the simple casket. Today’s send off isn’t a lavish affair. What’s the point in spending all that money on a box that sits in the ground to rot? The money will be better spent on the living, for the wake afterwards, back at the house.
Once people have stepped forward to pay their respects, the coffin is lowered. The smooth movement jars against the seizing of my heart. I slip my hand into Kalen’s on my right and squeeze. More tears fall. My knees shake. I blink and I’m transported back to that night.
“Onyx, I forgive you, okay?! On, please don’t die on me!” Helpless sobs wrack my entire body and hot angry tears stream down my face.
“Amelie? Milly? It’s time to go,” my brother gently calls to me. It’s like he’s speaking from a great distance but a gentle shake brings me back. “You okay? Are you crying?”
I nod.
“You barely even knew the guy,” Smalls grumbles under his breath. Kalen hisses at him in warning.
I look at Kalen, understanding and pain reflected back at me.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m here.” I wipe my face again but a moment later it’s wet once more. The tears won’t seem to stop, even though I make no sound. Stupid. Just another part of me that’s broken. Like —
“Okay. Do you want to ride to the wake with us or…”
“You guys go,” I say to him and Smalls. “I’ll ride with Kalen and see you there.”
They give Kalen a sideways look, unsure about leaving me with him. I don’t blame them, the flight only got in this morning so there wasn’t much time for pleasantries before we all had to get ready for the funeral.
“Why the fuck would someone call it a funeral? The word starts with FUN,” Kalen points out. I agree with him. It’s all bullshit.
“Whoever came up with that one was a stupid arsehole.”
This time, Aadi and Smalls give me the sideways look.
“Arsehole, Milly, really?” My brother looks unamused.
“What the hell happened to you?” Smalls demands.
“Kalen rubbed off on me. I do live in England now. In the middle of bum fuck Egypt, actually. You’re going to have to get used to some Britishisms slipping in.”
They both crack weak smiles and step forward to kiss my forehead.
“Love you, sis. It’s damn good to see you again, even under shitty circumstances.”
“Love you, babygirl.”
Kalen’s jaw clenches.