BEN
The red brick building before me feels both familiar and completely unknown. I never imagined I’d be walking through those doors as an employee. I spent so much time here when I was a teenager, watching my dad work through the monotony of regular checkups. I knew I wanted to be a vet, but I never wanted to work in a place so boring. I couldn’t understand what my dad enjoyed about weighing fat cats whose parents can’t stop giving them treats despite knowing they’re putting the animal at risk.
My job in Greensboro was exciting. There were complex surgeries and rare disorders to study. I never knew what my day would involve until I got there. I loved it.
Now, I’m about to walk into this building and complete wellness checks all day. It’s not what I wanted for my life, and finding someone to take over won’t be easy. I highly doubt the pool of interested candidates is going to be great. How many top doctors are going to want to move to the middle of nowhere? And I’m not going to pick the first vet who applies, either. I want them to understand what they’re taking on and what this clinic means to my family. Which means the search for the right person is going to be tedious.
Thankfully, my boss at the animal hospital in Greensboro allowed me to take a leave of absence while I get things sorted here. She’s been very supportive of me helping my dad get back on his feet, but I don’t want to take advantage of the time she’s allowing me to have. Maybe the first few candidates who apply will be perfectly qualified.
And I’m officially delusional.
With a huff, I get out of my car to walk inside the clinic. The lobby has several chairs lined up along the wall facing the desk. Susan, the clinic’s office manager, looks up at me through her cat-eye glasses. She’s been around since Dad started the clinic. As a teen, she scared the holy hell out of me. All she had to do was raise an eyebrow, and I’d straighten my shit out immediately.
It doesn’t seem like much has changed over the past twenty years when she glares at me behind the desk as I greet her. “Good morning, Mrs. Engles.”
“Benjamin.”
I scurry through the pass-through door to head back to Dad’s office. He’s spending mornings at the clinic this week to help ease me into the flow of things while not overworking himself. It’s not like I can’t handle doling out vaccines. I could do those in my sleep. I want to focus on the admin stuff since running the business side of things isn’t quite in my wheelhouse. Mostly so I don’t piss off Susan if I ruin her system. Being her intern in high school was scary.
I gently knock on Dad’s open office door, making him glance up. His smile stretches wide when he sees it’s me. It makes my chest ache knowing how much it disappoints him that I don’t want to take over the business.
“Hey, son. I was just getting logged into the system.”
I pull a chair around his desk to sit next to him while he goes through the ins and outs of his normal morning routine. It’s all pretty straightforward, nothing too complicated. I’d imagine Susan takes care of most of it since she doesn’t trust anyone else—especially not my father, who is technologically challenged on a good day.
“I think I can manage that.”
“It’s probably easy for you tech-savvy kids.” Dad laughs. He’s always been the kind of person who sees the best in any situation, taking whatever life throws at him with a smile on his face. It makes his disappointment in me even harder to stomach. We used to have a great relationship until we moved to Sonoma. Then it felt like there was nothing I could do right. Every time I turned around, I was making the wrong choices.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I chose to go to Cornell for vet school instead of Dad’s alma mater, North Carolina State. Passing up the opportunity to go to a prestigious school like Cornell seemed monumentally stupid, but I think Dad took it as a slight against him. It created this weird relationship between us that I’ve never been able to navigate.
“Let’s go meet the team. Everyone should be here now.” Dad stands from his chair, and I follow closely behind.
We walk out of his office, rounding the corner into the break room. It feels a little like an ambush when I see the entire team of employees crammed into the tiny space. They all look like they’re watching a zoo exhibit. Their eyes are curious, wanting to get closer, but unsure of what I’ll do if they move too fast.
I just stand next to Dad, keeping my face neutral. I don’t recognize a single person here except for Susan. How are these people going to feel about me taking over for my dad? I won’t run this place like he does. I tend to be a little more exacting and a lot less fun.
In Greensboro, it wasn’t a problem. We weren’t there for a fun time; we were there to take care of people’s pets. It was a different atmosphere than Dad’s clinic. Fitting in here isn’t going to be easy, even for the short time I’ll be around. Just another reason why I don’t think this job is for me.
“Everyone, meet my son, Benjamin. I’m excited to be putting the reins of this place into his capable hands. He’s got a lot of experience from the animal hospital in Greensboro, and I know his expertise and knowledge will be extremely beneficial to our clinic.” Dad’s face is beaming with pride, which only makes the brick in my stomach multiply. He’s so happy I’m here.
All I can do is nod at the group in front of me, my throat too clogged with emotion to speak.
An awkward silence ensues while we all try to figure out what to do next. Finally, Dad says, “Right, well, I’ll let you guys get introduced as you go. Ben, we’ve got the whole crew on the schedule this week to give you an opportunity to get to know everyone individually.”
I clear my throat. “Sounds good.” I glance at the people in front of me. Each one has a look of concern on their face. Except for Susan, of course. She just looks disappointed, which is how she’s always looked at me. She knew all about my behavior growing up and has never been my biggest fan.
Everyone sits there for another moment until Susan shoos everyone back to work. I walk back into Dad’s office with a defeated sigh. I didn’t expect this to go over super well, but I also didn’t expect them to look at me like I was an unqualified kid coming in to wreck the entire clinic.
Dad slaps his hand on my shoulder. “Let them get to know you, son. Then they’ll see what I do.”
“Sheer disappointment? That’s not exactly what I was hoping for.”
Dad freezes, his hand still on my shoulder. Without saying a word, he closes his office door, then gestures to the seats in front of his desk. With his elbows on his knees, he stares at me for a moment. I feel like a teenager again, waiting on him to reprimand me for whatever stupid thing I did.
“You honestly believe I’m disappointed in you?” he asks, looking me dead in the eye.
“I know you are, Dad. I see it in your eyes every time I come home. Look, I don’t want to have this conversation right now. I’m going to get out there and do my job.” I stand before he can say anything else, opening the door and stepping out of his office. I walk up to the front desk, where a couple of techs are whispering with Susan.