“I love him,” Lennox says. “Like? I don’t know. It’s hard to like someone who goes out of his way to show he doesn’t give a shit about anyone else.”
“You don’t think he cares about you?” I ask, drawing back.
“He cares about girls, and money, and power,” Lennox says. “He wants to be the center of attention, the star of the show, and he’ll do anything to make it happen. I guarantee he’s only gone because he wants to make sure you’re thinking about him and not me.”
“I don’t think so,” I say, frowning at the button on the front of his pajamas. “He doesn’t even like me. He told me he didn’t want me, didn’t want to be with me—ever.”
“And then he saw me taking you to bed,” Lennox says.
“Why would he care, if he doesn’t want me?”
“He still wants you to want him,” Lennox says. “That’s what I’m telling you. As long as you’re worshipping him, he’s going to be happy with you. But when you stop…”
“What?”
“He’s dangerous.”
“You think he’d hurt me?”
“I think he’d hurt us both if he knew about us,” Lennox says, pulling my leg over his hip.
I want to argue, to defend him, which is ridiculous. I don’t owe Maddox any loyalty. He made it clear we’re nothing, less than nothing. That he sees me as a joke, a child. Lennox is right. Maddox didn’t give a single fuck about hurting me that morning. I think he actually enjoyed it, just like Lennox said he likes shooting people.
“I’m sure you know him better than anyone, but…” I search for words, but Lennox cuts me off.
“Don’t worry about him,” he says, stroking my hair behind my ear and tipping my chin up. “He’s fine. I promise.”
His lips meet mine, and I try to let my worries melt away. I need to let go and move on. It’s not my business where Maddox is or who he’s with.
I can’t help thinking about him, though, and worrying just as Lennox said I would. Just as Maddox intends. His brother knows him best, and I’m not about to keep asking and look like the desperate little girl he says I am.
After a week, I finally spot him going into a coach’s office off the gym when I come out of the locker room one stormy afternoon. I’m about to call out to him when Scarlet pushes past me. Glancing back over her shoulder, she gives me a once-over, her lips curled in a derisive sneer.
“Get lost, loser,” she says. “He’s with me now, and following him around just reeks of desperation.”
“Oh, is that what I smell?” I ask, trailing her to the closed door of the office. “I thought you must have picked up some new perfume at the gas station, but now that you mention it, it’s what you always smell like.”
She huffs and stops at the coach’s door, crossing her arms and glaring at me. “At least I can afford deodorant.”
“Yeah, too bad dignity doesn’t come with it, huh?”
Despite my quick comeback, her words sting. I don’t want to think about him telling her that. Has he been staying with her all week? I figured he was crashing on another Crow’s couch. I can’t imagine some rich bitch’s parents allowing a gangster to use their guest room with their daughter across the hall.
Her mouth drops open at the insult, then snaps shut. She grits her teeth and glares at me. “Why are you even here? He doesn’t want to see you. Aren’t you a nerd? I thought y’all were supposed to be smart.”
“I’m smart enough to know you’re full of shit,” I say. “Maddox has better taste than you.”
She raises her brows and lets her gaze rake over me with obvious distaste. “Likeyou?”
I cross my arms and mirror her pose, lifting my chin and refusing to be intimidated, even when a crack of thunder outside makes me jump. “Maybe.”
“You have Lennox,” she says, shaking her head. “Why do you even care? Are you such a slut that you actually miss them taking turns with you? I mean, I know you’re in the Slut Club and everything, but that’s nasty even for one of y’all.”
“Like you wouldn’t jump at the chance to get Lennox if he’d take you.”
“Whatever,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Projecting much?”
The coach’s door opens, and Maddox looks back and forth between us. The coach steps out from behind him and pulls up short. “Y’all need something?” he asks.