I love them.
Not just Maddox, but Lennox too. Guilt settles heavy in my belly as I watch the rise and fall of the blanket that covers him where he lies on his bed, under the beautiful mural just across the room, his back turned to us. He’s been so kind these past few weeks, so patient and nurturing. But it was Maddox I let into my bed tonight, when he’s done nothing to deserve it. Just like all the other girls, I chose his brother who didn’t work for it over Lennox, who’s done everything right to earn my trust and my heart.
What am I doing?
If he knew, he’d be devastated. But I can’t seem to stop my heart from feeling as much for his brother as I do for him, no matter how impossible he makes it. It’s too late to turn back now, though. I’m in it now. They’ve tied that rope into a noose, and I put it around my own neck, hanging myself in the name of love.
And the worst part is, I don’t know which one that love is supposed to be for, and which one tied the noose because it wasn’t him.
twenty-three
Lennox North
When I wake and roll over, my stomach lurches and my balls shrink into my groin like I just jumped into the river in January. I grope on the nightstand for my glasses, my heart hammering as I pray that my poor vision is to blame for what’s right in front of my eyes.
But there she lays on Maddox’s bed, sleeping soundly, probably worn out from being used like a fuck doll all night. Rage shimmers through me, and my hands curl into fists. I throw off the blanket and sit up. I can sleep through anything, and apparently I just slept through my brother fucking my girl halfway across the room.
But no.
She’s not my girl, is she?
Because she chose him. After all I’ve done, being patient and respectful, she chose the asshole like every other girl.
No one wants the nice guy, not even the nice girls.
That’s why I only fuck the crew girls. They don’t want nice guys, and with them, I don’t have to pretend to be one.
With Rae, though…
With Rae Iwantedto be nice. She deserves more than the crew girls. She demands more by her very nature, by her innocence, her resilience, her determination to carry the weight of the world on her back alone, even if she has to beat her wings twice as hard as the rest of us, who fly together.
I stand and stride over to the other side of the room. Maddox didn’t even wait for her to wake. He’d never let a bitch interfere with his routine. So he left her and went to work out, like he does every morning, and now she’ll wake up alone, probably heartbroken and full of regret that she gave herself to an asshole who will never care about her the way I can.
I lift the blanket to just to make sure. Her tits are bare, small but firm, and fuck, I’m getting hard just looking at them. I lift the blanket a little more and see that she’s still wearing pajama pants.
What the fuck went on in here while I was lost in the oblivion of sleep?
Her nipples pucker with cold, and she squirms and reaches for the blanket, her lids fluttering. Before I can think too much about it, I slide in with her. I wrap my arms around her, holding onto her, my chest aching with the heartbreak I know I’ll see in her eyes when she wakes. At least this way, she won’t wake up alone on her birthday.
That asshole probably doesn’t even know it’s a special day. He doesn’t care enough to know.
“Mm,” she murmurs, pulling my arms around her and nestling her ass back into my groin. “Maddox…”
A fucking knife in my back couldn’t have hurt more. Or maybe it hurts so much because it is a knife in my back, put there by my own blood, my own twin.
He knows how I feel about her. He knows I want her, that I want more than to fuck her, like he does.
I could, though. I could be Maddox right now, the way she wants. I could stave off her disappointment a while longer, just slide down the top of her pants and take her the way he would, not caring what she’d have to say about it. Maddox never cares about the bitches he fucks, never cares about their feelings or desires. He’s not picky. As long as the pussy’s wet, he’ll fuck it. He doesn’t give a fuck who it belongs to, not even if it’s the girl his brother wants.
“Rae,” I say, leaning up on my elbow. I stroke her dark chocolate hair back, tucking it behind her ear. I could let her sleep, let her go on believing Maddox is holding her the morning after instead of dipping out while she was sleeping.
But I’m not quite that much of a nice guy.
“Mmm,” she murmurs, the corner of her pouty lips pulling into a smile.
“Maddox left,” I say, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “But I’m here, Sunshine.” I grip her hip, pulling her flush against me, so she can feel how hard I am, that I still want her even if his cum is still leaking out of her. So she knows it’s not over.
He hasn’t won until I admit defeat.