Her in my lap, us touching. Her scent in my nose. That’s my home. “Is she sick? Does she need help?”
She shakes her head and traces patterns into my arm. “No. She’s not sick. She may need help, but not right now.”
I already know who we’re talking about. Kit wouldn’t feel the need to reassure me so much if it were Tink, which means there’s something going on with my baby sister. Something that has the girls crying and Kit lying.
But whatever it is, she’s in my house right now, under my roof, in my guest bedroom and asleep.
She’s safe, and they didn’t run away.
Crawling along the bed with Kit in my arms, I tuck us under the blankets and bring her up so her leg is stretched over my thighs, her face over my heart, and my fingers stroke along her aching shoulder.
“You hurt yourself?”
She sniffles. Then she nods.
* * *
I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling while Kit snoozes on my chest and mumbles in her sleep. On my really lucky days, her mumbles turn to actual words. Sometimes she talks about me. Sometimes she says my name and presses her lips to my skin. Those are my favorite dreams.
Other times she mumbles about Jack.
Often, more often than a girl who hasn’t seen her mother in well over a decade and claims she’s not sad or in mourning, too often, she mumbles about her mom.
Those times break my heart.
That’s something I can never fix for her. I can’t bring the woman back, and even if I could, I can’t make her a good person.
Sometimes Kit dreams about Tink, but she calls her Casey in her dreams. She grew up withCasey, Tink’s nickname is still relatively new, and not a name Kit uses all the time. She smiles and sighs those times.
Once or twice over the past year, she’s mumbled about Jim. With her thighs on mine, her lips on my chest, her hand on my belly, she’s dreamed about my brother.
The first time that happened, I was about to wake her up and flip my shit, then I would have fucked her brainless just to remind her which brother she chose and why. But then her mumbles turned to soft giggles, and I remembered that she thinks of Jim the way she thinks of Jack. She loves him, she cares about him. But he’s her brother as much as Jack is.
I don’t move for hours after she falls asleep. I want to make sure she’s truly out before I sneak away. Plus, I simply don’t want to leave her. I continue to stroke her arm and enjoy the way she purrs at my touch.
Eventually, when her mumbles turn to soft snores, and her body is heavy and slack, I slip out of Kit’s octopus like death grip and smile at the way she clings to me, even in her sleep. She mumbles my name and scrunches her face in anger at the loss of her warm pillow.
She needn’t worry, I’ll be back soon.
I move out into the hall and walk along the dark hallway. I stop at the guest room door and knock lightly, just in case Iz is awake, but after a full minute with no answer, I tiptoe in.
Moonlight pours through the window and illuminates Iz’s sleeping form curled up on the large bed. Wearing Kit’s pyjama shorts, with her long hair fanning out over the pillow, she sleeps on her side and faces the window. Her unconscious face rests in a frown, and her arms pull her legs up tight against her body. I scowl at her defensive position. She’s normally a sprawler. I’ve known this girl her entire life, and every time I’ve ever seen her sleep, her limbs stretch toward each corner of the bed in an attempt to take up as much space as humanly possible. She’s a small girl, but she takes up so much room, no one could possibly share a bed with her
I step closer and study her puffy face. Kit’s not the only girl who’s been crying tonight. Izzy doesn’t show nearly as obviously as Kit, but I know what I know. I place a soft kiss on her head and quietly back away. “Don’t worry, Sissy. I’ll keep you safe. Just tell me what you need, I promise to fix it for you. Talk to me, baby girl.”
I step out of the room and close the door, content with the fact that whatever it is, she’s talking to the girls. Whatever the problem is, it may have them upset, but it’s not deathly serious. If it were, Kit would never keep that secret, no matter what she promised.
I sneak back into my room and climb into bed until Kit’s limbs wrap around me in her sleep and her hair tickles my nose. The rest can be dealt with tomorrow.