And there’s a huge part of me that doesn’t want to stop hurting. I don’t want to let go. I want him to live on forever, so if that means he lives on in my grief, I’m willing to wear it. Until it sends me crazy, anyway.
I pull into the perpetually empty truck stop parking lot and stop outside the diner windows. I turn my head to the right and eye my bag. My files.
My lifeline.
I can sit at Dolly’s counter, drink a milkshake, and read the fake report some more. Learn of the man he wanted us to think he was.
I climb out of my car and pull the hat lower over my eyes. Pushing my cell into my back pocket and swinging my bag over my shoulder, I beep the locks and move through the heavy doors.
I head back to my seat.
The one beside mine remains empty, but that’s okay. I don’t want someone else to sit there. In fact, I might buy it, dedicate it to Kane, then screw it to the floor.
The Kane Bishop stool. Only sit here if you think you’re man enough.
“Hey, baby girl.” Smiling wide, Dolly steps away from a booth and sways her wide hips as she moves around the counter. I follow her every move with my eyes, because she’s so charismatic, so large.
And I don’t mean her size.
I mean her soul.
“Coffee?” She stops in front of me and flips a mug. “It’s late in the day for coffee, but it’s a Friday, so maybe you’re looking to party tonight? I can take you out. Paint the town red.” Leaning over the counter until her boobs almost cover her eyes, she looks down at my legs. “You’ve got the shoes for it, baby girl. And I’ve got the ass.”
Laughing, I shake my head and set my bag on my lap. “No to the coffee. No to the partying. No to the ass. But I’ll take a milkshake.”
“Spiked?”
I love her so much. “No. I’ve gotta drive home, then I have a date tonight.”
“A date?” Her smile vanishes in an instant. “A date? With who?”
She’s still got Kane’s back.
“With my sister. She’s having a tough time, too. So we’re going to do Tequila shots in bed and spoon.”
“Aww.” Cupping my cheek, Dolly runs her thumb beneath my eye and catches a silly tear. “You and that girl. I swear. You feel so much. Both of you.”
“Dolly?” When she pulls away to slap my milkshake order into the kitchen, she turns back with a lifted brow. “Can I buy that stool?”
“You want a stool?” Frowning, she walks closer and leans on the counter. “I think we got them from the local co-op. They’re pretty ugly though, don’t ya think? Miss Fancy’s way too fancy for these.”
Miss Fancy.
I’d forgotten she called me that.
“Not for home. For here. I wanna own it, then maybe weld a plaque onto it. Then weld it to the floor.”
“A memorial?” Her eyes turn soft. “You wanna remember him with something he parked his ass on once or twice?”
I shrug. “I’d build a Rocky statue at the top of Main Street if I could. But Kane lost that fight, so… he sucks at fighting. But maybe I could get that Russian fighter’s statue made. Then I can remember the fight Kane lost. You remember? That time you asked if he hit himself in the face.”
Laughing, she nods and drops her eyes. “I remember. He was a damn mess. You both were. Miss Fancy comes in here with that rough man. Part of me wondered if he’d kidnapped you. It didn’t lookright, you know? But then he’d talk to you, and you’d lean into him. It was definitely right, and shame on me for judging something by its cover.”
I shrug. “I mean, it was sort of a kidnap situation, I guess.”
“He declared his love that day, baby girl. You remember you were in here last week and you said he never told you he loves you?”
Tears prick the backs of my eyes. I nod.