“Are you ready for the appointment?” Harper asked.
Bones brought his hand around to rest on her slightly protruding belly. “Ready? Are you kidding? I can’t wait.”
Some people that didn’t know him, might think Bones was being sarcastic, but he wasn’t. This was the ultra sound, where the couple could find out the sex of the baby.
I knew he was genuinely thrilled. That’s just something else I missed out on.
Yeah, letting go of my anger wouldn’t be easy. But I knew if I didn’t get along with his mom, it would make connecting with Gavin more difficult. Besides, I hated carrying around these negative emotions.
“Let’s go, then,” Harper said.
Bones barely called out a goodbye to everyone before disappearing out the door, the vibes of happiness trailing behind them so potent that it was almost visible.
I thought about what Bones had said over the next two days. So when I got off work Wednesday evening, I called Naomi, asking if it would be okay if I stopped by to see Gavin. I hadn’t seen him since Saturday, and that hadn’t gone nearly as well as I’d hoped, but I didn’t intend to give up on having a relationship with him, no matter how long it took.
“Yeah, you can come by,” Naomi said.
I could hear running water in the background, as well as the sound of her rifling through some pots and pans, making them clang together.
“But I’m making dinner right now. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like.”
I thought about it for a moment. I hadn’t meant to stay for dinner last time, but Gavin had been so excited to tell me about his favorite movies that I hadn’t wanted to tear myself away. It’d been the first time he’d opened up to me and I hoped he’d do it more often as time went by. Naomi said he was shy, but I suspected it was more than that. I thought he might be nervous around me. It was sweet, but I also wanted to make sure he understood that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. He didn’t have to earn a father, he should just have one in his life.
“Dinner sounds great,” I said.
I was already in my work truck, so once we hung up the phone, I went straight to Naomi’s place. I didn’t love that they were living in a basement apartment. Gavin deserved better, but I decided it was best to keep my opinion about that to myself, for now.
When I rang the doorbell, I met with silence for a moment. Then the sound of hurried feet could be heard followed by Naomi calling out, “No running!”
I couldn’t help but lightly chuckle at that. Then, the door was pulled open. The smell of cooking meat reached me, and I felt my stomach rumble in response. “Hey, G,” I said, holding my fist out to him, he bumped it with his own, and I felt the strangest sense of satisfaction that he knew what I was going for. Yeah, this was a small thing, but I would take it if it indicated that we were somewhat in sync.
I really liked Gavin. He seemed like a good kid. A little shy at first, but I could see him opening up to me more and more every time I saw him. He had an infectious, toothy grin and an enthusiasm for the things that were important to him that was great to see. I just wanted to find a thread that could connect us to one another. Something that would show me there really was half of me in there.
“Hi, Smoke. Did you tear down any buildings today?”
“Not a whole building, but this was even better. We are taking down some walls in this really old house and when I broke down the one in the laundry room, it was full of rat nests.”
“Ew! Did you see a bunch of rats?”
“Nope. They must have already moved on.” Or probably died. “So it was a whole wall full of shredded cardboard, insulation, paper, cotton, leaves, all kinds of stuff. They pack it all in there tight and create burrows to get around.”
“Cool!”
I grinned at his response to rats. Rats. Who knew? I headed into the kitchen.
Naomi seemed to be cooking with three different pots on the stove, and it looked like something was in the oven.
“Hi,” I said, making a conscious effort to keep the coldness out of my voice. I knew I had been obvious lately, but a part of me wanted her to know how mad I was at her, to punish her with the knowledge somehow, but I knew it had been petty. I needed to let this go. The past couldn’t be changed, but I could write a better future for my son.
“Hi, Smoke. You hungry?” she asked, acting like this was perfectly normal and there’d been no tension between us before now.
I appreciated that more than she could understand. “Starved. What are we having?”
“One of Gavin’s favorites. Baked ham with macaroni and cheese and green beans.”
“The green bean part isn’t my favorite,” Gavin chimed in, “but mom makes me pick a vegetable with dinner every single day.”
“Sounds like a pretty good mom,” I said.