Tito rolls onto his back, pulling me close to him. I rest my head on his shoulder, and he rests his head on mine, keeping me intently in his arms. We don’t say anything for a few moments as we catch our breath, and then he kisses the top of my head.
“Is this normal?” I ask when I’ve stopped panting.
“What?” I hear the smile in his voice and imagine the dimple on his squared chin. This makes me smile too.
“Feeling this good?” I ask, and he takes a soft breath in through his nose as a pause.
“Can I be honest?”
“No, I want you to lie to me.” I quip sarcastically, and we lightly chuckle before continuing.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way.”
“Sex isn’t like this all the time?” He pauses again, and I wonder what he’s thinking.
“Mmm. No. At least not for me. Not that I haven’t had good sex, just that this is better. Much better.” He finally says, and I nod.
“I can’t think of anything being better than what we just did.”
“Not anything? What about those fries you nearly slapped me for, for taking earlier?”
“Oh right! Cheese fries are the exception.”
“Damn, just when you think you’ve really done something, only to lose to fries again.”
“Again? This has happened to you before?”
“Yes, rich people have problems too, Scout.”
I snort a laugh and tap my fingers on his abs. He grabs my hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing it quickly, then resting it on his stomach. I feel that flutter in my stomach again, the residual effects of such a sweet gesture.
“But, for real, nothing compares to this,” I reiterate, jokes aside, lifting my head to see his eyes. His sleepy grin makes me want to kiss him, but I feel so comfortable in his arms that I smile back. I feel my nose crinkle as I do, and he gently pokes the tip of it in response.
There’s a part of me that wants to worry about this, our naked bodies tangled up on top of his sheets, lips burning with the lingering feeling of his lips on mine, and every inch of my body perfectly satisfied. I honestly don’t know how I waited so long to have sex. Now that I’ve done it, I’ve created a problem for myself before I want more. But not from just anyone, from Tito.
I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck once again and feel my eyes close, despite my mind telling me to get up and get out of here. It’s not what I wanted or even needed tonight, to sleep with Tito. Though, a small part of me knew this was coming when I said yes to coming to his room tonight.
It’s mostly a blur in my brain now. Every event that has just transpired feels like it’s slipping past me. My equilibrium is trying to compensate for it, making me feel as though I just laid down for the first time after being in the ocean all day. Despite my best efforts, sleep overtakes me, leaving me securely in Tito’s arms.
---
“Good morning.” A scratchy voice alerts my body, and I’m shocked into waking. I’ve never spent the night with anyone, let alone woken up naked next to them, so this is rather alarming. “Did I startle you?” Tito’s voice is slightly less chirpy.
I rub my eyes and sit up, pulling the covers over myself as I feel him rise next to me.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” I quickly nod. “Uhm, can I have something to put on?” I clutch tightly to the blankets, determined to make last night a fond, distant memory that I can separate from Tito. It’s only because knowing what I’m doing to him if I keep this up, is far too much for me to bear. The problem with this is that I'm still unsure if I believe the San Giovanni’s are good. But I also don’t know if I believe they’re bad, either. Not like the way I’ve been told they are, anyway.
Tito stands, crossing to a tall black dresser against the wall. He opens the first drawer, rummaging around a bit as I yawn. After he finds a white t-shirt, he brings it over to me, holding it out for me to take with a worried look in his eyes that hurts my stomach upon seeing it. I take it from him and slip it over my head, waiting until it’s fully on before pulling the covers away.
I have no idea what to say to Tito, or how this is supposed to work. He’s making himself busy, collecting candles and putting them in a pile on the floor. I know he doesn’t need to do this because he has so many maids in this house that I’ve never seen the same one twice. This is clearly my fault. I’ve completely messed this all up. I should have just stayed in my room last night like I wanted to after that call with Agent Riggs.
“Did you sleep okay?” Tito asks, not looking at me as he continues his pile of half-melted candles.
“Yeah,” I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat that’s formed from the awkward air between us.
“We have to leave in less than an hour.” I notice the dull blue light casting shadows in his room, and I look up to see that he has a skylight, beaming the mixture of the moon and approaching morning sun. I also notice his glow-in-the-dark stars, and I can’t help but laugh.