“Welcome everyone to the first group activity.” Everyone claps as he says this, and we join them just at the bottom when he begins to speak again. “This will be an improv exercise to go along with this week's themes— finding your voice.” He uses the hand not holding the microphone to make jazz hands.
“First up, Romeo San Giovanni and Lydia Royce.” We look at each other in bewilderment as he waves for us to come, and the group parts to form a path to the stage. “Come on. Don’t be shy now. Come on.”
I puff up my chest and grab her hand. She doesn’t fight me as we make our way to the stage, taking a spot right next to Lamé. He grins proudly as we are each given a piece of paper. Mine says,Will not buy the watermelon because he does not have money. Cannot say that he doesn’t have money.Tantalizing. I blink flatly and look at Lydia, who is still focused on her piece of paper.
“Ready?” Lamé asks after a few more moments.
“Yeah.” I nod, and Lydia looks up at me.
“Yes.” She says without breaking eye contact.
“Then you may start.” He hands the microphone to Lydia, who has her hand already stretched out to him.
“Good afternoon, sir.” She beams, and the group below us gets a kick out of her complete change of personality.
“Good afternoon,” I respond with caution.
“Would you like to buy these super fresh, super delicious, ultra-healthy watermelons?” My eyebrows rise as she pretends to point to what I assume is a cart full of them.
“No, thank you, I don’t like watermelon.”
“Stop!” Lamé calls, and I hand the microphone to him. “One rule of improv is that you can not say no.”
So, I’m supposed to say yes? My stupid paper says that I can’t say yes. I take the microphone back from him as he tells us to proceed.
“I don’t like watermelon.” I correct and pass her the microphone.
“You will like these. They’re so fresh you’ll think you’re learning to breathe for the first time.
“I’m pretty sure a necessity of being born is breathing.”
“Well, I think you should try the watermelon to see what I’m saying.”
“I can try it, but I won’t buy it.”
“If you try it, you have to buy it.”
“Before or after I try it.”
“After.”
“Well, then I don’t want the watermelon.”
“They’re usually three dollars, but for you today, kind sir, they are only ten cents.”
“Ten cents?!” I pretend to be elated.
“Yes! Would you like to buy them now?”
“Um. I’ll think about it and come back.”
“Oh, well, if you leave, I won’t be here when you come back.”
“Why’s that, miss?”
“Because I will be all sold out.”
“Then surely you don’t need my business.”