Sterling had gone too far, and I had to find a way to make sure he never touched her again. There weren’t many options short of killing the bastard. And I didn’t see how I could protect Mads without also hurting her.
For hours, I agonized over my options, what the best course of action might be. By the time the sun crested over the horizon, I was filled with so much dread that it felt as if I were suffocating from it.
As much as I wanted this night to end for her, I never wanted the morning to come. I didn’t feel good about what I would do, but I had to shift Sterling’s focus off Mads and entirely on me. Then I could figure out what this asshole had against me.
I sat in the corner, cloaked in shadows, the first streak of sunlight peeking through the blinds, and stared at the girl in my bed. I never imagined someone would become so important to me that I would put them above myself. Or the Elite.
Fuck. That was a hell of a statement. Those three guys had been the only people who I could count on. They’d been my family, more than that of my blood. I would die, kill, and burn the world for them. I hadn’t expected Mads to become that level of importance to me. Perhaps I should have seen her coming. She’d always been there, hanging around. The girl who had once been like an annoying little sister had grown up and become someone I couldn’t ignore.
My heart mattered little to me in this situation, and yet tonight it was cracking. Each minute that went by, each second the sun grew brighter, those cracks deepened.
I just hoped that when this was over, Mads could forgive me.
Again.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
MADS
Iwoke up the following morning alone in Micah’s bed. Memories of the night came back in waves, a flow of highs and lows that had me feeling pretty fucking messed up. I couldn’t seem to distinguish how I felt about what happened. On one hand, I was hurt, angry, ashamed, and sad that Sterling had violated my freedom. But on the other side, despite hating the drug, I had felt this connection with Micah. The way he’d been so gentle, how he’d held me afterward in his arms. I knew a huge part of what I’d experienced from his touch was heightened by the drug, but could it also be because I was in love with him?
Calling the sex magical seemed wrong considering the circumstances, but it did have a romantic quality to it.
I loved Micah.
Admitting such a big confession to myself was almost weight lifting. A part of me had loved Micah for as long as I could remember, but I’d suppressed it, homing in on the hurt and anger he’d made me feel. Somehow that had been easier than dealing with heartbreak.
Stretching, I rolled to my side, keeping the sheet around me. I had no idea what time it was, but the house was silent. A bottle of water had been left on the side table. I inched myself up into a reclined position, reaching for the water, when a movement from the edge of my eye had my heart sprinting in my chest. For a few split seconds, panic that someone had broken into Micah’s house raced within me, making my organs pump harder. A someone like Sterling.
It was reasonable to think I would be jumpy and paranoid after what happened. I didn’t want it to be a long-term reaction, me jumping at every shadow in the corner or constantly looking over my shoulder. It seemed wrong as the victim that I would have to continue to suffer.
I was a second away from scrambling out of bed when I heard my name.
“Mads,” Micah whispered.
My blood pressure slowly returned to normal as I realized it was him sitting quietly in a chair nestled in the corner of his bedroom. The floor-length curtains covering the windows were slightly ajar, letting in slivers of light. Fully dressed, he sat forward, elbows pressed into his knees, wearing his serious expression.
I didn’t like it.
It meant something was bothering him.
Micah was rarely somber.
I stared at him, suddenly finding myself tongue-tied. What did you say after something like last night?“Thanks for taking care of me?”It sounded wrong on so many levels despite that actually being what he’d done.
“You’re making me nervous. Just tell me what’s wrong,” I said, breaking the silence between us. “Did something else happen?”
Micah didn’t move a muscle as he replied, “No. He wouldn't dare show up here, not with the four of us under one roof.”
I dropped my head back against the wall, releasing the breath I’d been holding. “Then why do you look like you’re about to tell me there’s been a death in the family.”
“I think we need a break,” he blurted, the statement coming out so matter-of-fact, as if he’d given it considerable thought. Perhaps he had. I had no idea how long he’d been sitting in the chair. Hours?
I blinked, hardly believing this was a conversation we were having before coffee, let alone at all! “What do you mean, a break?” This was not something I expected after last night. How could someone show me such love, care only about my needs, and then cast me aside?
Because that was what this felt like, as if Micah didn’t have a need for me any longer.
My mind knew that wasn’t true, but hearing those words from his mouth caused my heart to doubt everything.