S’teph puts her face in her hands.
“Are youserious?” T’ia asks.
“Why would I not be serious?” Is this the important conversation we were to have? I am growing more annoyed by the moment.
S’teph clears her throat. “Okay, this is going poorly. Let me step in here. I’rec, Tia is hurt and blindsided by the timing of things. She’s hurt and she is lashing out at you because you’re the source of the hurt. I think she was expecting her return here to be very different.” Her voice gentles and she looks over at T’ia. “And you are attacking him because you feel he’s responsible somehow, but you know how this works, Tia. You’ve seen it happen a dozen times over. Resonance can’t be fought. I thought it was exaggerated until it hit me, and then I understood. Trust me when I say it’s impossible to fight it. You can no more stop resonance than you can hold back the ocean.”
T’ia sniffs, wiping at her face. “But Mari and T’chai—”
“No,” S’teph says gently. “Even they would tell you that it’s a terrible idea.”
I remain silent, my arms crossed. I am comforting the wrong female here. I should not be concerned with T’ia’s tears. F’lor is the only one that matters now, and being here is a waste. I feel for T’ia and her pain, but no more than I would for any other female of the tribe. The emotions I felt for her vanished the moment my khui sang.
She will understand it someday.
“It’s just…it hurts,” T’ia says, more tears tracking down her face. “The timing is awful. You made me think that I was coming here and that we’d be together—”
Some of my calm dies away, and I am left with nothing but annoyance. “You wish to blame me for this? You, who said nothing in your messages about how you felt? Do you know how many times I had others read them to me, hunting for words that would tell me your true feelings? Instead, you would tell me about herbs and whose kit was teething. As if I cared about any of that!” I glare at her. “You were the one that chose to leave for three turns of the seasons.”
“You never visited me!” she cries. “I was in Croatoan this whole time! You could have come to visit me and tell me how you felt!”
Bah. How did I ever find this female attractive? She is lovely to look upon, true, but her words fill me with irritation. “You remember incorrectly. You played games withallthe males, myself included. I told you that I wished for you to be my pleasure-mate. You told me that I pushed too hard. That you did not want to choose anyone. So when you left, I did not push. I waited patiently for you to come to me.” I shrug. “Three days ago, I would have been overjoyed to welcome you to my furs, but now I have resonated and everything is different.”
“Yeah, you didn’t wait very long to jump into bed with Flor,” T’ia says bitterly. “Not very long at all.”
“We did not wait, no,” I agree. “And I do not like the way you say my mate’s name. Best you change that tone of yours. She is my mate and she does not deserve your anger.”
T’ia looks taken aback by my strong words. I mean it, though. F’lor has not wronged her. If anything, F’lor is equally as “wronged” as T’ia is. She did not want me for her mate.
The realization bothers me, and I wonder if R’jaal is comforting her. He should be sniffing around T’ia now, not my F’lor.
“So youarein love with her,” T’ia says.
“She is my mate.” I have stated this over and over—how is it yet unclear?
“But are you inlovewith her?” she insists.
Why does she continue to circle around what she already knows? I resonated to F’lor. She is my other half. Of course she has my heart. Such a thing does not need to be stated aloud yet again. “I am tired of answering you.”
“That’s not love.” T’ia’s tone is accusing. “That’s convenience.”
“I do not have to answer.” She will not listen anyhow.
“Of course it’s not love,” says a familiar, quiet voice. F’lor. She stands in the doorway of S’teph’s hut, Juth at her side. Her expression is closed off and remote, and for some reason, it feels as if she is as angry with me as T’ia is.
Nonsense. I have done nothing wrong. I cross my arms over my chest, because the urge to move to F’lor’s side is overwhelming and I know I would not be welcome in this moment.
At least she is here. Now we will get everything resolved.
ChapterTen
FLOR
Why is it that every time I encounter I’rec now, he’s busy telling someone how much he doesn’t love me?
Not that I care. I’m not in love with him. It’s just…damn. A girl’s feelings could really get hurt with this shit. Tia glares at me, her face tearstained and her eyes red. I’rec looks similarly indignant, his arms crossed over his chest and his expression closed off. Neither one of them is handling this well, and I don’t blame them. I know how long I’rec’s been waiting for Tia to return, and now she’s returned to this.
That’s not love. That’s convenience. Tia’s accusing words remind me that she’s right. I’m not part of this relationship, not really. I’m a uterus that needs to get pregnant to appease a particularly demanding khui. And why shouldn’t I’rec’s khui be utterly demanding? He’s the most demanding male I know. It’d be funny if I weren’t caught up in all of it.