No doubt she has raced off to have R’jaal comfort her. Something hot and angry boils through me at the thought of him holding her close, and I lurch in the sand, staggering forward.
S’teph catches my arm. “Don’t run off, I’rec. You really do need to talk to Tia. This isn’t fair to her.”
I rake a hand through my mane, tugging it free from the knot atop my head—a knot that F’lor put there. For some reason that makes me feel worse. I want it back. I want the knot back, and I want F’lor here at my side, smiling up at me. All of this feelswrong. I growl low in my throat, my khui’s song rippling through my chest.
“Juth, love,” S’teph calls in that mild voice of hers. “Will you go ask Flor to join us? I think that would make I’rec feel better.”
Juth nods, shifting their kit on his hip and heading down the beach after my mate. His stumpy tail flicks with calm motions, and I wish I was as relaxed as he was. I should be the one going after her.
Instead I must deal with T’ia and her tears. I bite back a groan of frustration and guilt. Why did A’tar not take a few extra moments and tell T’ia what happened before returning to camp? Even as S’teph steers me and T’ia toward her hut, I glance over at the big golden male. His mate is giving him an unhappy look as well, as if she is displeased as much as we are.
“All I want to know is where the fruit went,” A’tar says again, shrugging. “Do we truly need that big of a feast? It seems silly to snatch all the fruit.”
“What are you yammering about?” Leezh asks him. “Why are you obsessing with fruit?”
I do not hear the answer because T’ia chokes on a sob and S’teph steers her away, glancing back at me. I follow, because what else can I do? I want to find my mate, but if I abandon T’ia in this moment all will look at me as the worst of creatures. Even so, I hesitate. I step towards the beach and towards F’lor, because the pull for her is greater than for T’ia.
S’teph grabs my arm and then drags me back toward T’ia. “Juth will find her, I’rec. All will be well. Talk first, or you will hurt Tia even more.”
Guilt makes me pause and then follow after S’teph. I hate it, but she is right. F’lor is not leaving. She cannot, not while we resonate so. I must be patient a little longer.
T’ia weeps the entire walk back to S’teph and Juth’s hut. Once inside, she collapses dramatically onto the pillows set near the firepit and sobs anew.
I know she likes attention and I know she likes to make big gestures, but for the first time, I am annoyed at T’ia’s actions. Must she be so…loud? Obvious? I glance at S’teph.
She sits down nearby and gestures that I should sit, too. “It’s okay. This is a safe space to talk.”
“What if I do not feel like talking?” I eye the comfortable pillows across from the females as if they are filled with dung. I have no desire to sit down and get comfortable. I just want to leave. I want to find F’lor. Rubbing my chest, I glare at my surroundings. “F’lor should be here.”
“Fuck F’lor,” T’ia cries, sitting up suddenly. Her wild, curly mane—now much longer than before—puffs around her face. “How could you, I’rec?”
How could I fuck F’lor? Is that what she is asking? It should be obvious. “It was resonance.”
“Now, Tia,” S’teph says in a gentle voice. “I realize you’re feeling hurt, but I want to remind you that resonance chooses the partners, remember? I’rec did not choose Flor. Resonance did. You cannot blame him for a biological urge, and assigning blame won’t help things. Maybe try phrasing it as ‘I feel betrayed’ instead of accusing directly.”
T’ia looks directly at me. “I feel betrayed,” she hisses, echoing S’teph’s words. “I feel like you didn’t even wait for me to get here! You just fucked the moment you felt something resonate!”
Confused, I nod. “Of course. That is what you do when you resonate.”
She breaks into fresh sobs. “How could you! I was coming here to be with you!”
Her words make me flinch. I knew the truth of it, but hearing it aloud is entirely different. Guilt surges again. “But it was resonance…and I am not sad it chose me. F’lor is a good mate for me.”
“What about me?” T’ia asks pitifully. Tears stream down her face. “How can you throw me aside like I was nothing?”
I give S’teph a confused look. “Because it was resonance,” I say again. “Does she not understand this part? Did she forget what resonance is?”
S’teph makes a sympathetic face. She clasps her hands in front of her. “I think what Tia is trying to communicate is that she feels betrayed because you did not wait for her arrival to fulfill your resonance—”
“Oh my god, you already fulfilled it?” T’ia shrieks. “Seriously? I thought you just resonated a day ago?!”
“It was two days ago,” I clarify. “And it has not yet been fulfilled.”
T’ia sighs. “Well that’s something, at least—”
I continue. “We have mated many times but we yet resonate. We will probably need to mate many more times before it takes.”
T’ia’s eyes widen.