Chapter Twenty
Shelby
Dirk didn't, in fact, show up that night. Whatever problems there were with the shipping company kept him out until the next afternoon. I was in my dressing room, having just hit the button to power up my old phone to see if Sylvia had gotten back to me about Mama yet, when I heard the door to my bedroom open.
I hurriedly stuffed the phone into a drawer as Dirk called out for me. After the incident at Mama's place, I'd been afraid to use the one Dirk had given me, and for whatever reason, Jerry continued to pay the bill for my old one. Or maybe it was on auto-pay and he hadn't noticed, but I doubted something like that would get past the man.
"Shelby, darling, there you are," he greeted me as he came into the dressing room.
With his drawn features and rumpled clothes—the same ones he'd been in when he'd left the night before—he appeared haggard. As he came closer, I noticed his eyes were bright, his pupils enlarged, and he was barely managing to stand still. But he didn't do anything bad. He just embraced me and kissed me on the forehead as I stood there stiffly, afraid to move.
"I'm sorry, darling. I tried, but I need some time." He rested his forehead against mine as he apologized, for what I didn't know, and after a moment he started to back away. "I have to go. I can't be around you right now, please understand. If there's an emergency, have Carter get Milo."
Completely bewildered, I could only nod, but then an inkling of what he was getting at grew. He's going to Sasha and Marigold. I wasn't sure how to feel about knowing he was going to have sex with other women, but I was certainly not upset about avoiding his attentions. Mostly, I felt sad that this was my life, our relationship, and that he had demons that he had to let them out in such a manner.
As he neared the door, my phone buzzed in the drawer where I'd hidden it. Dirk absently pulled his own from his pocket then frowned and shook his head as if he was confused. Before he could put it away again, mine took up an incessant buzzing, drawing his attention to the drawer.
“Is that yours?” he asked as he went to retrieve it. Dread settled over me like a second skin when his expression changed from curious to angry. “Why is this in here, Shelby?” He held up the offending object, still ringing with Sylvia’s name across the front.
“I was just checking on Mama, Dirk. I promise I wasn’t trying to leave,” I hurried to explain as I wrung my fingers together.
“That wasn’t at all what I thought, but I’m glad to know it’s still at the front of your mind. Why are you hiding this? You have a phone. I provided it for you, so the least you could do is use it. But no, here you are, sneaking behind my back over checking on your mother. Not that I approve, by the way, the woman is toxic and not good enough for you!” Dirk’s voice rose with each point he made, and although it did seem silly to hide something so simple from a normal person, he wasn’t normal, and now he was pissed. How the heck did he not see himself as toxic? “What else are you keeping from me, Shelby?” he demanded, eyes narrowed in suspicion while he perused the room as if it were a vault of secrets.
“N-nothing, Dirk. I just didn’t want you to get mad. I’m sorry. I’ll call Sylvia from my phone. Uh, my other one.” My words tumbled out so quickly I lost track of them, not doing myself any favors by reminding him of the item in his hand. Which he threw across the room. It hit a rack of clothing and fell to the floor, but at least it was quiet.
“I don’t believe you,” he retorted succinctly. “You had no reason to hide that, so what else is there?”
The threat was clear, but I hadn’t done anything, and I wished that he could have made it out of the room without incident. Now I had to deal with his mood, one he’d freely admitted was complete crap.
“What do I do that isn’t monitored, Dirk? How was I even supposed to know that you weren’t aware that I had the phone? Besides, I don’t have any of my old contacts in the one you gave me. It was made very clear that I was to leave my old life behind. It was a simple message asking if Mama was still getting on okay.” His shoulders lost some of their rigidity as if my pleas were somehow satisfying his anger.
“No more, Shelby. If you want to call someone, call. Don’t be a sneak about it.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he took several deep breaths. “I can’t handle it right now, so I’m taking it with me. Use the one I gave you, understood?” I nodded, grateful that the issue hadn’t been worse...and that he was going to leave me alone.
I watched as he went to retrieve the old phone, but after he picked it up, he paused and surveyed the room. My heart beat picked up when he pulled my tattered backpack from its cubby. I had a feeling he wouldn’t give it back after he took it, and tears filled my eyes when he stalked out, taking the mementos and the little bit of my own money I had left with him.
A few moments later, the slamming of his bedroom door startled me out of the pity party I was indulging in on my bed. I’d thought he’d gone to ‘relieve’ his anger, but my door banged open, bouncing off of the doorstop, as he appeared. Instinctively, I quailed at sight of him, a red flush on his skin and hate blazing at me from his ice-hued gaze.
“What the fuck is that, Shelby?” He flung the object onto the bed, and though it landed upside down, I knew exactly what he’d seen on the other side of the oversized button.
I paled as my eyes flew to his, already shaking my head. There was nothing I could say. I’d forgotten the photo was in the bag, had even meant to get rid of it when I found out Carter was here, but there had been little opportunity to do so, and then...I simply forgot.
“Did you let him touch what’s mine?” Some of his anger abated as anguish filled his voice, his eyes begging me to deny it, but I couldn’t. If I lied, but Carter told the truth...
“I didn’t know you knew each other. It was before we met.” I shrugged and held up my hands helplessly. What else was I supposed to do?
“Why does he always get what’s mine? How could you let him touch you?!” he ranted as he began to pace back and forth in front of my bed while raking his hands through his already mussed hair. “You said only once... It was him!” Besides the terror making it hard to follow, I didn’t understand what he meant at first. But as his tirade went on, I clued in, my heart sinking to my toes. There was no way I was getting out of his brand of ‘punishment.’ “Are you still sleeping with him? I’ll kill you both, no matter what Father has to say about his golden boy!”
My head shook as I told him the truth. “No! There’s been nothing of the sort, I swear. Dirk, I wouldn't cheat on you.” The pregnant silence that followed punctuated what had been left off, but it might as well have been shouted.
“That was to save you from me, Shelby! But you just couldn’t love me, could you? Why does it always have to be him?” The self-deprecating laugh he let loose was just this side of manic, causing goosebumps to break out on my arms. “Did you know Father demoted me last night? He sent Carter in to ‘clean up my mess.’ So, guess what, Shelby? The golden boy won’t be here to tattle to Father like he did last time. But I will be, here that is, unless I’m summoned to assist with my own damn company!” His shout, punctuated by the slap of his hands on the bed next to me about had me crawling out of my skin. “Sluts get what they deserve, darling. You shouldn’t have betrayed me, and maybe I should have listened when Father told me all women are vicious creatures—beautiful to look at, but more apt to eat your heart than to cherish it.”
I had no clue what he was muttering about his dad for, but the grip he had on my arm as he hauled me off the bed had me balking instantly. “Dirk, no! You can’t do this. I haven’t done anything wrong!”
The sharp crack of his palm striking my cheek was loud in the room, seeming to surprise even him as he paused to stare at me wide-eyed for an instant. "Why'd you make me do that?” he said softly, almost as if he wasn't talking to me at all. Yet it didn’t stop him from pulling me from the room and down the stairs while I cradled my burning skin in my free hand.
"Dirk, please," I whispered as we entered the hall.
“It’s Winston, slut. Now get in there.” We’d reached the dreaded room. I sobbed just at the sight of the door. “Stop that crying,” he demanded as he threw the door open.