The night of the ball came and went without any fanfare or incidents with Dirk. The ball itself was rather boring, besides the bit of dancing I did with my husband, and things seemed to be settling down, like they had been prior to walking in on him and Nina. Several weeks passed, and the most Dirk did was kiss me hello or goodnight, until I started to doubt my sanity. It was as if nothing bad had ever happened, like he wasn't psychotic or abusive in the least.
But then Thanksgiving came around, and his mood deteriorated. He didn’t actually do anything to me other than snap at me, and I got brave enough to ask what his problem was.
“My mother died right before Christmas; it’s not a good time of year for me.” While that might be true, that didn’t sound like all of it. I recalled him being fine when we were dating, but it wasn’t worth pursuing.
“Missing your loved ones can be hard,” I offered, not really caring if he was upset. The man had tormented me for no reason, and it was hard to find sympathy for what felt like an evasion of the truth.
It also brought up the fact that this would be the first year I spent away from my own mother, not that we did much, but despite the way she’d acted the last time I’d seen her, a pang of guilt hit me that she’d be alone. For my own peace of mind, I decided to check in with Sylvia, just to make sure she was still doing okay, and turned to leave the sitting room.
“Yes, darling, it can be.” I startled at the endearment as much as the arms that came around me from behind. “But we’ll have each other. Father and Rafe won’t be attending. Father had a bout with his heart and has gone to some center with my brother to see if anything has progressed.” At my silence, he shed some light on the subject I hadn’t known about. “He had a heart attack a few years ago, and it weakened the organ. The damage wasn’t severe enough for a transplant, or it hasn’t been, but even if it was, he’s unlikely to qualify if his other systems begin to fail.”
There was no love lost for that man either, and I was glad Dirk couldn’t see my grimace as I imagined what he'd be like without his dad holding the reins. He was being normal, affectionate even, but letting my guard down was the last thing I planned on doing.
"You could go meet him if you wanted to," I offered, hoping he'd leave so I could enjoy the quiet time without worrying about him flipping out or Milo giving me one of his usual creepy stares.
"No, I'd prefer to be here with you," he replied, dashing my hopes. "Unless you'd rather me leave?" His arms tightened around me, and he actually sounded hurt at the prospect. I didn't dare say yes though.
"Of course not." I forced out with a laugh. "Why would you think that?"
He relaxed around me with a sigh. "I know things got...off track, but I want you to be my wife again, Shelby. I've been trying to give you time, but...I miss you."
It was my turn to stiffen, I had no idea how to respond to that. It was too late to put the crazy back in the box, and he couldn't erase what he'd done. Don't push him. If she hadn't been gone for so long, I could almost think that came from my voice, but I liked to believe I was learning to think before I acted.
"I-I don't know, Dirk. There was a lot... But maybe we could start again?" There was no chance in hell I meant it, but if it kept him sane, I'd go along with it.
"Thank you, darling. I hoped you'd see it my way." And there it was. His way. Winston wasn't gone; Dirk was just holding him at bay for whatever reason.
When he dipped his head down, inhaling deeply at my neck, I resigned myself to the fact that I'd just agreed to become physical with him again even though that hadn't been my intent. As his hands inched up the bottom of my shirt, a knock sounded at the door, making him groan into my shoulder before releasing me and stepping away to answer it.
"What?!" he snapped as it opened, but I was too shaken at the near miss to turn and see who was taking the brunt of his ire.
"Sorry, boss, but there's a situation down at the docks. It needs your attention."
"I'll be right there. Milo, bring the car around front, please." The door shut, and Dirk resumed his previous position, that time kissing me on the neck before roughly sucking the skin into his mouth, no doubt leaving a hickey to mark his territory. "I'll come to you when I'm finished, darling," he promised before he left.
As soon as the door shut behind him, I collapsed onto the davenport and let the tears come. I'd never be free.