“I only have ten minutes before my next client comes in so I’m going to need you to drop the vague descriptors and just tell me what happened! What did Jonah do?”
“Calvin told him I had a crush on him when I was a teenager, and he brought it up. No, strike that. He didn’t just bring it up, he brought it up as a reason for why nothing should happen between the two of us. As if I’m some lovesick kid who’s going to glob onto him the second he gives me any attention. It was insulting and embarrassing, and needless to say, it’s over between us. Whatever we had, it’s gone. I’m not even attracted to him anymore.”
“Ohcome on,” she said. “It doesn’t work like that, and you know it. Honestly, if you ask me, you sound pretty angry, and oftentimes being angry at someone only makes themmoreattractive. If you weren’t still totally into him, this wouldn’t be upsetting you this much.”
“Not true.”
“Yes true,” Becca doubled down. “You want to bang his brains out and you’re pissed because he said no.”
“I’m pissed because ofhowhe said no.”
“I’m not buying it. You’re not used to being turned down, and it’s only making him that much hotter, the fact that he was probably the first man to ever say no to going to bed with you.”
I huffed, blowing some hair out of my face in the process, and shook my head even though Becca wasn’t in the room with me. “You sound insane. I’m not even sure why I called you, I should’ve known you would be literally no help at all.”
“Hey, that’s not fair! I’m trying to help, but there’s no helping someone who refuses to see the reality of their situation.” She sighed, “Listen, Kat, what he said hurt your feelings, and I’m sorry about that. It doesn’t matter why it hurt you; the fact is you were hurt and you’re allowed to be upset about it. All I’m saying is that I don’t think this is enough to throw everything away over. I doubt heintendedto hurt you, doesn’t that count for something?”
“It might,” I said. “If he hadn’t made it abundantly clear that he and I could be nothing more than friends. Not even friends, colleagues. He’s afraid of the ‘optics’ or whatever.” I laughed. “The optics would favor him; he should know that. Older men always get applauded when they show up to a party with a hot younger woman on their arm.”
“But I thought you didn’t want to be the woman on his arm,” Becca said. “You told me this was just about sex. Now you’re saying you want todatehim?”
“No!” I scoffed. “No. That’s not—you’re twisting my words around and frankly I don’t like it. I’m hanging up now.”
“Wait! Wait. I’m sorry.” She chuckled. “I’m sorry, truly. I am your best friend and you called me to make you feel better and I’m totally failing. I think I’m probably just a little too invested in all this, and it’s stupid I know. But I hope it goes without saying that I’m always and forever on team Kat, and if you’re telling me that the thing with Jonah is done, then so be it. I will move on as well.”
This made me smile. “Thanks, Beccs. I really appreciate you always being on my team.”
“Always,” she emphasized. “Oh! My next client is early, I gotta go. See you back at home?”
“Yup. See you then.”
We hung up. I looked out the glass doors of my office and saw Jonah walking back to the elevators, probably clocking out for the day. I quickly averted my gaze before he could look up and see me and forced myself to keep my eyes trained forward on my dark computer screen until I was almost certain he was gone. When I glanced back a few seconds later, the hallway was empty; he’d left, and some of the indignation I was feeling earlier melted into something much more somber.
* * *
“Hey. can you hold it?”
A voice called out to me right before the elevator doors closed. I stuck my arm out just in time and Calvin jogged in holding his briefcase and coat. When he saw me, he frowned. “Oh. I didn’t know it was you.”
“I figured.”
He folded his hands in front of him and stared straight ahead, not saying anything, as the elevator creeped down floor after floor. I let out a sound that was half scoff, half laugh, and this prompted him to look over his shoulder at me. “What?” he said. “You got something to say?”
“Now that you mention it,” I said. “I do have something to say. You’re acting like a child.”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are,” I said. “You’re dodging me in the halls, ignoring me when we see each other, and now I hear that you’re going around spreading rumors about me?”
This seemed to catch him off guard. He spun around and frowned at me. “Rumors? I didn’t start any rumors.”
“You told Jonah that I used to have a crush on him.”
He balked. “That’s hardly a rumor! And to be honest, I thought he already knew. It was so obvious, everyone knew.”
“Well,hedidn’t. I worked very hard to make sure of that back then, and you undid all that hard work with one drunken slip of the tongue. Of course, you probably never stopped to think how that might affect me. You never wondered what might be the ramifications of my new boss finding out I used to be totally head over heels for him. Or maybe it did occur to you, but you just didn’t care. You thought it would be fun for me to be miserable and embarrassed at my place of work, is that it?”
“No,” he said. He shook his head. “No, I swear, I really had no clue he didn’t know. I can’t even remember the context in which I said it, but I know I wasn’t thinking straight. Just running my mouth. You know how I get when I drink.”