“Why?” She sits down on a chair and puts her chin in her hand.
“Well, my mother was a single mom and she raised me in this old trailer outside of town. It was a bad area and there were a lot of people that thought less of me because of where I was raised.”
She cocks her head. “That’s not right. You were just a kid. You couldn’t make those kinds of decisions.”
“Hmmm. Well, that’s nice of you to say. But it’s a hard thing to live up to.”
She nods and stands up. “I’m sorry to hear that. But if you knew my mom, that means she wasn’t like that. Which doesn’t surprise me. She’s pretty cool. She is always nice to everybody.”
I feel that warmth in my chest again. It’s good to know that I’m raising my daughter right. She’s a good kid with a good head on her shoulders.
Tears fill my eyes and I sniffle, backing away to where they can’t see me. What if he gives her all the things I’ve never been able to afford? What if he sings to her in a concert? What if he dedicates a song to her? I can’t compete with all the things he can do.
I head to the kitchen and put the leftovers away and then start the dishes, watching the translucent bubbles pile up in the sink until they’re swallowing the edges of the counter. I reach over and shut the tap off.
Everything is in slow motion because I can’t stop thinking about what’s going to happen if Maddy gets to know her dad.
“She’s not going to want to leave you for me, Carinna.”
I don’t look up, still staring at the bubbles. “How do you know that?”
“Because she’s your daughter. The girl who didn’t give a damn that I didn’t have anything. You still hung out with me no matter what anybody else said. She’s just like you.”
He moves closer and I glance up at him, lost in the focused look in his eyes. Like a hawk staring down its prey. I can’t look away. And there’s a strange throbbing low in my core, an attraction that feels like it’s coming back to life after being buried for a decade.
I draw in a shaky breath. “You should go talk to her for awhile. She has to go to bed soon.”
His big hand closes around my shoulder and I feel a dart of electricity zap to life under my skin, burning me like a brand. His brand.
Dammit, I still belong to this man. After all these years, that banked fire is growing so fast, like a wildfire building in howling storm winds. The fire races down my arms and straight into my heart, warming me from within.
“Don’t worry, Carinna. I’m not looking to steal her from you. I just want to get to know you. Get to know you both. I wish to hell you hadn’t done this alone. But you’re a stubborn damn woman and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you did do this. But I can forgive that. What I refuse to do is just walk away from both of you. I want to be here for both of you, Car. I’ve missed you all these years. It always seemed like there was something missing from my life. And now I know what it was.” His eyes burn with love and lust. “I’ve missed you. I never should have left. I should have talked you into going with me. Something. But whatever I did, I should have made sure that I took you with me.”
My mouth falls open and his lips quirk up. “You’re gonna swallow a bug, Carinna.”
“There’s no way you mean all that stuff. You’ve got everything a man could want.”
He nods his head, his waves of dishwater-blond hair falling into his eyes until he pushes it out of the way. “Almost, baby. Almost. But I’m not leaving this town until I do get the life I want. And I want it with you.”
“You haven’t even kissed me. You don’t know if we’re attracted to each other still.”
He laughs gently, dark and deep. “That’s not even a question but since you asked so nicely...” His strong hand wraps around the back of my neck and I jump, eyes wide, staring at him, transfixed. He tugs me closer and I trip over my feet, falling into his wide, muscular chest, my fingers digging into his muscles on reflex.
His lips claim mine, soft and gentle, until I moan into his mouth. And then all hell breaks loose.
His lips dance on mine desperately, deeply, burying his lips and tongue into mine, melding with mine. Merging with mine in an exotic dance of lust that has me gasping and straining against his big body.
He tugs me until I’m so close to him that you can’t even fit a piece of paper between the two of us. One hand holding the back of my head, the other gripping my hip so hard that I feel his fingers digging into my skin, marking me.
He steps back and my eyes open slowly, my fingers touching my lips, frozen in place, gasping for air.
He chuckles, and it rumbles up from his chest like a growling bear. “I think that answers that question, baby. I want you.” He glances down and a smirk tilts his lips when my eyes follow, a blush stinging my cheeks when I see the bulge in his jeans. Then his eyes trace the blush down my throat and into the neckline of my blouse which is so light, you can see the twin points of my breasts straining against the fabric. “And it looks like you want me too.”
He lightly steps around me and lets the cool water out of the sink. “I think you need to run that again, sweetheart.”
And with one last burning kiss to my temple he walks out the door, whistling.
I lean against the sink and blow out a harsh breath, my body still fired up with no place to go.
“Damn that man,” I whisper, the pads of my fingers tracing my bruised lips until I drop my head to my hands and lean into the sink, hunched over, so damn confused.
The only thing I do know is that he’s right. I want him. But what do you do if you want something that you know isn’t right for you?
You keep your damn self under control. That’s what you do.
Come hell or high water, I need to keep Chris at a distance. No matter what, I can’t let him get under my skin.
“Keep your fucking head, my girl. It would be way too easy to just let him take the lead and end up with a broken heart and no daughter. Keep it together and hopefully we can make it out of this mess with all of our heart intact.”
Wise words. But can I live up to them?