By the time we get back to the car, Gavin is much more relaxed, smiling and joking around. Now he's more at ease, so is Gem, and everything is easier.
Once we get to Lexi’s house, I tell her she can’t take over and can only help Gavin if he needs to find certain items around the kitchen.
"This will be a lot easier in your own kitchen because you'll know where everything is, but Gem is perched right at the kitchen door if you need her."
Once he's got a good sense of where everything is, I sit on one of the bar stools and watch.
"Do you remember the last time I made you spaghetti?" he asks as he starts with the pasta sauce and gets the water boiling for the noodles.
He always made food for me at my parents' house when they were out at some function. He wanted to make sure I ate right. I haven't thought much about Gavin and me because it was easier not to, but this is one memory I’ll never forget.
"It started raining, and my parents said they were going to grab a hotel for the night instead of trying to drive back into town."
"Yep, so I decided to stay longer, and we started watching TV after dinner." He pauses what he's doing and smiles like he remembers that time too, just like me.
"We ended up making love on the floor in front of the fireplace." A huge smile is on my face now.
"And we almost got caught by your parents because they didn’t call to tell you they couldn't get a room because of some event in town and drove home anyway."
At this point, we’re both giggling.
I remember it well, but then the serious memories kick in. "It wasn't long after that night you told me you’d enrolled in boot camp." My words effectively kill the mood.
Without saying anything, he continues making dinner. Even Gem senses the tension because she keeps looking between us like it's a tennis match, wondering which one of us is going to fix things.
I don't know if there’s any way to fix it to fix us. Maybe we’re two broken people who once had a great thing that we ruined and can't get back no matter how hard we try.
I watch Gavin as he tastes the sauce, and a big smile crosses his face. Spaghetti has always been his favorite food. Like father, like son in that aspect. As if thinking about Graham conjures him up, my phone rings. The caller ID shows that it's Miss Jessica's phone number which means it's probably Graham wanting to talk to me after school.
"I have to take this, but don't do anything. I'll be right back." I head to the living room, which is the furthest room from the kitchen, and quietly answer the phone.
"Mommy!" Graham answers, yelling down the phone.
"All right, no need to yell. What’s wrong?"
"Nothing. I got a book from my teacher because I was one of the best readers in class last week and I can't wait to read it to you. But as a reward, Miss Jessica is making a fort in the living room and letting us watch a movie. Can you pick me up a little late so I can watch the whole thing?"
The excitement in his voice is contagious, and I have a huge smile on my face. "Yes, I can stay here and do some paperwork. Have Miss Jessica text me the time the movie will be over. And don't fill up on junk food. You better eat your dinner tonight."
"It’s Spaghetti Monday, Mom. I could be full, and I’d still eat spaghetti."
I hope I feel the same way when I get home because spaghetti for lunch and dinner will make it a little hard to eat.
We hang up, and I head back into the kitchen to check on Gavin, who’s got the food plated with minimal mess.
"Everything okay?" he asks.
“Yeah, everything's good. I have to stay late tonight, but no big deal." I stick as close to the truth as possible because Gavin has always been able to tell when I’m lying. The last thing I need is for him to think I'm lying now and push me for something I can't give him yet.
"I know you can't talk about other patients, but I'm always here to listen if you need someone to talk to."
He gives me the perfect out. I could’ve said it's about a patient and I can't talk about it. Goes to show my brain doesn’t function fully when I'm around him. "Thanks, but it’s just paperwork. I’m starving," I add as we sit down to eat.
"It’s been a while since I've made this, so I hope it tastes as good as you remember."
It does taste as good, but all I can think about through lunch is how much Graham would enjoy spaghetti Monday with his dad, the man who started the whole tradition.