"No, you don't. It's not that I don't want you, Gavin, because lord knows I never stopped. But this is the worst timing. We’ve both changed. Let's get you better and work on getting to know each other again."
I can't decide if she means it or if she’s simply agreeing with me to let me down easy.
Her hands land on my knees as if she’s kneeling in front of me. She used to do this to get on eye level if she needed me to understand something when we were fighting and she was trying to defuse it, or if she had something important to say.
As she did then, she frames my face with her hands and tilts my head toward hers."What you’re thinking is written all over your face,” she whispers. “I’m not trying to let you down easily or get rid of you. My feelings are strong, but you have a long battle ahead. Let's fight it together, and once we’re on the other side, we can see about the next steps. Seven years is a long time, Gavin, and we’ve been apart as long we were together."
In answer, I place my hands on hers to keep them there a little longer. While I know she's right, it doesn't make it any easier. Even if she’s trying to push me away, I'd have one hell of a time letting her go.
She's here with me, something I never expected, and I don't have the strength to walk away again.
I simply nod, unable to form words.
"I’ll make you a deal. Don't hide your progress from me again, and I’ll open up. We can use this time to get to know each other again, okay?"
She's giving a little, and I’ll take it. Getting to know this girl again gives me something to look forward to. My favorite part of spending time with her was getting to know all the little things about her, and now I get to see how she’s changed.
It's a start, and that's all I can ask—a small glimpse into the life I might have had.