Chapter 8
Gavin
Isitonthe couch waiting for Lauren, and I can tell she's there before she speaks. I know she's at the door because the energy changes and every nerve in my body is attuned to her. They aren't joking when they say you lose one sense and your others more than make up for it.
She knocks and says, "We need to talk."
Four words every man hates to hear. My mind races with our conversations from the last few days. Did she ask me to do something I haven't? Did my doctor tell her something? I come up blank.
"I heard you’ve been taking morning walks with Lexi, and you are doing much better than you’re letting on when you’re with me."
Sagging against the back of the couch, I don't say anything. Straight to the point. I guess it was bound to come out sooner or later. It's not like I can see who’s around watching me, so it could’ve been anyone who ratted me out.
"Why would you do that?" she asks softly, a thread of hurt in her voice.
To this day, hurting her is my weakness. I don't want to cause her any more hurt than I already have. Back when we were together, a single tear of sadness would rip my heart out, and God help them if someone else made her cry.
"The better I do, the less you come around, right?"
Where the hell did that come from? How she manages to pull the truth from me is a mystery. She says nothing, but her soft footsteps tell me she’s walking my way. The couch dips as she sits next to me, but she remains silent.
My heart races as fast as my mind, trying to figure out her next move.
"What’s going on in that head of yours? I used to be able to read you so easily, but not anymore." She whispers the last part, but I hear it plain as day.
In the past, she would tell me she could read my mind by how I looked at her. Now I’ve lost my sight, I guess she’s lost that ability, too.
In a way, it makes it easier to keep things to myself. How often did I wish she couldn't read me? Now I want it more than anything.
I reach for her, needing the contact. When my hand finds hers, she brings it to her face and presses it to her cheek in a much more intimate move than simply holding her hand.
"I don't want you to stop coming around," I tell her, resting my forehead against hers. I want to kiss her so badly, but I know I shouldn't.
She isn't mine anymore. After all these years and what I did to her, I can't walk back into her life expecting to pick things up where we left off. I know it doesn't work like that.
"I need you in more ways than one," I whisper as the truth pours out of me. The need to kiss her grows so strong that I stop fighting it.
Slowly, I lean in toward her lips, and she doesn't stop me. My lips softly touch hers, and she doesn't move.A light soft kiss against her lips has sparks shooting through my body. She pulls me closer, so I deepen the kiss. A soft moan leaves her lips, making me harder than I can ever remember.
I want her with every fiber in my body, but that is a line we can't cross today. Pulling back, I leave enough space to get some air but not enough to put any distance between us.
"Tell me you feel this, too," I plead.
This is much more intense than I remember. It was a strong, magnetic pull back then, and we didn't deny it. We were together every chance we had.
But now it's more profound. This emotion and attraction can’t be attributed to teenage hormones. No, this is our souls recognizing each other and trying to fuse us together.
She nods, and my lips are back on hers as I press her into the couch. I can't get close enough.
This kiss is like coming home. I’ve been adrift for years, and she's my anchor. She pulls me in with her kiss and keeps me safe. I don't want this moment to end, but we have to stop.
I break the kiss and rest my forehead on hers, enjoying having her in my arms."You deserve so much better than a man who can't see, but I'm too damn selfish to give you up."
Her hand grips the sides of my face, and she tugs me in for another far too fast kiss before pulling back again."We can't do this. Not now. You’re my patient, and my job is to work with you. Besides, things are different, and we can't just pick up where we left off. Too much has changed. Too much time has passed."
She stands so fast I can't stop her, putting space between us in more ways than one.
"I understand," I say, sinking back into the couch.