But he never did.
Even ten years later, I never found out who killed my mother. I just accepted it, like absolutely nothing had ever happened. I had no image of my mother to honor and guard because I never knew her.
The next day I woke up and got ready for her funeral.
Walking through the greenery of the maze wearing a black ruffled chiffon dress and a white ribbon holding my hair up. I made my way towards the square, eventually reaching the wall of roses that honors my grandmother.Something was different, the aura was utterly dreadful. It was a rainy day with extreme overcast weather, perfect for mamá’s funeral. It represented the pain that she felt in this life.
Turning to my left, I was met with a flower display mimicking my grandmother’s. It was different from the original; it had white lilies surrounding one black one.My mother’s favorite flower.
Finding my seat right next to my father, I noticed León, my half-brother, sitting right beside him. His mother Lillian was sitting behind my dad, giving her condolences. Her hand patting and slowly caressing his shoulder. As I sat there, I realized the filtered life I was living. The game that was being played before my eyes.
The two most important women in my life had just died, and without them, there would be no more sympathy, peace, and most importantly, no more authenticity.
Looking straight ahead at my mother’s memorial, I realized in that moment that the Castillo women all die in chaos. They stay in the remnants of the people who killed them.
I was sitting right next to the man who killed my mother.
I was an imposter just like the rest of them.
ChapterOne
Maria Alejandra
Present - 20 years old
“Alejandra, how does it feel?!” a female reporter yells.
“What are your plans for next season?” shouts the next.
“Do you consider yourself ready for F1?”
This type of attention at a Formula Two press conference isn’t normal. All the cameras flash around me as I bask in the attention.
I quite literally have just come back from one of the best moments of my life. “Many congratulations to the top three winners of the 2021 Formula Two driver’s championship. In third place, Oliver Semenov, representing Russia. In second place, Elijah James, representing Great Britain. Then finally our Formula Two driver’s champion, Maria Alejandra Castillo, representing Mexico.” Jackson Owens exclaims in his staple British accent.
“Alejandra, that was a brilliant and stunning win from you.” I nod and smile at his statement, muttering a brief “thank you” before he continues.
“How do you feel not only being the first Mexican driver in sixty years to have reached this achievement, but also the first woman?”
“It’s surreal if I’m being honest. I remember growing up and just knowing that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to become a legend, and today I did what my six-year-old self dreamed of; I became that legend. That being said, I’m not only proud as a Mexican to have achieved this, but I’m even more damn proud to be a woman doing it. It’s been long overdue for a female to reach this level in the playing field, and I am so glad to have opened these doors for the future of racing. Because today, I proved that the future is female,” I reply.
I am damn proud. I’ve worked my ass off to be here. Dealing with sexism and backhanded comments every single day is tiring. As well as the constant sexual advances that my fellow drivers and team members express.
The comments on social media telling me that racing is, and I quote, “a man’s sport” cue the eye roll. On top of the pressure that a Formula driver has to deal with, I have the added fact that I’m a woman. It’s plain and simple really, this industry is blatantly sexist. The men get the money, the sponsorships, and the attention.
“This being the most pivotal moment in your career so far as a driver, what would you describe this moment as?” Jackson Owens interrupts my thoughts and I stop to think for a second.
“It’s many things. So many adjectives. But I would describe this moment as reaching that point in your life where you finally know that it was all worth it. The tears, the anger, the hard work and the discipline.”
“So, what’s next for the Formula Two Driver’s Champion?” This is the question I have been dreading because I have absolutely no idea. I love dependability, but at this moment my career is far from dependable.
“Well, it depends on what answer you would like. The future I’m hoping for or the future that is more likely,” pausing, the next sentence rolls off of my tongue.
“I’m hoping for the spot at Elektra that recently became vacant. Ever since Luke Davis announced his retirement it hasn’t been filled. I have shown consistency and talent, not to mention I’m a part of Elektra’s Driver’s Academy,” I state bluntly before I continue. “But the option that is most likely is the renewal of my contract in Formula Two,” I finish off.
“How do you feel about the arrival of Luca Donatello as the new team principal of Elektra?”
To be honest, I haven’t really thought about the team principal change. The decision had been announced recently and hit the tabloids like Harry Styles announcing his next tour.