"What do you mean?" I look at her, seeing her heavy frown directed my way.
I bend down, dipping my fingers in the water. Creating a ripple, I make a constant figure eight. Over and over again, I watch, entranced as the water tornados around my fingers.
"Luna?"
I sit up, looking over at her. "I'm done crying about him, Nora. I can't keep doing this."
She nods. "I know." Leaning over on one butt cheek, she brings her hand to the back pocket of her shorts and pulls out a white squared paper. My heart drops, thinking it may be a letter from Roman. "I was just down at Coffee Joe's and saw this flyer. I thought of you instantly.”
I take it from her, keeping it folded up. "What is it?"
She nods her head toward it. "Take a look."
I wipe my wet fingers on my dress and unfold the paper, seeing blue skies and oceans and palm trees.
"What is it? A vacation? I don't even have a job. I certainly can't go on vacation. I don't have the money."
She rips the paper from my hands. "Well, you'll never know what it is if you never read the fricken words. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. This company in Hawaii is offering young people to come live on their farm for free. You work on their farm and get paid a little, but otherwise you get free housing, andhello, it's Hawaii. I'd take it myself if I wasn't leaving for Madison in a month."
I take it from her, finally reading the words. She's right. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Doing manual labor on a farm, but in exchange, I get to live in Hawaii for free. I even make a little extra money from it. All I need is a plane ticket to get out there, but this past year I've saved enough from dog walking and babysitting. I'm sure I can find a way to get a one-way ticket out there.
"I think I'm going to take it," I breathe, finally feeling like I have something to look forward to. "This actually sounds like a really good idea."
Her eyes go wide. "Oh my God, really?" She stands up with me, "Please don't tell my parents or yours that I'm the one that gave you this idea. I think they'd all bury me at the bottom of the lake."
They probably would. At least try.
"I won't. I promise." I grab her for a hug, wrapping her in the first true hug I've given anyone since Roman left. Over a year ago at this point.
It's almost like he never existed at all.
"Oh my God. I'm actually really excited for this." I squeeze the paper in my fingers, such a different reaction to when I was squeezing a different paper in my hands only minutes before Nora showed up. "I'm going to go talk to my parents."
She cringes. "They're going to be so mad."
I shake my head. "You know what? Maybe not. I've been so sad for the last year, maybe they'll be happy that I'm finally excited over something."
She smiles at that, her face brightening against the setting sun. "Yeah, you're right. That makes me happy, too." She wraps me in another hug before stepping back to head down the dock. The wood is warm beneath my feet from the afternoon sun as I make way toward the sand. The water slaps against the bottom of the dock as it rocks from our movements. "I'll let you know how it goes."
"Should I come rescue you if I hear screaming?"
I roll my eyes, "I'll talk to you tomorrow!"
I run to my house, the bottom of my wet dress slapping against my ankles as I run into the front door. I let the screen door slap against the frame, and it startles my mom and dad from their spot on the couch. "Hey, honey, what's wrong?"
I walk up to them, sitting on the coffee table between them and handing them the piece of paper.
My mom grabs it, not looking down at it as she stares at my face.
The excitement.
"What's going on?"
"Read it."
They bend down, reading the words. Heads bent together. Eyes roaming in the same rotation. I watch their eyes read it. Once. Twice. Three times before they look back up to me.
"What are you trying to say?" my dad asks, taking his glasses off and setting them next to me on the table.