“All okay?” Zander asks, standing by the door, hands in his pockets and his eyes focused on me.
“Yes, yes. All’s well.” Ash turns away and quickly wipes his eyes, not letting Zander see his emotion.
“Zach and Zane are leaving. Charlie is about to fall asleep.” He informs us that it’s time to go.
Ash nods. “Come back anytime, girls. This is your home. Call me whenever you need anything or…if you just want to talk.”
I squeeze his hand. “Give me time,” I whisper, only for his ears.
I want to embrace this fatherly affection he’s offering so badly, and I hate the prickle of doubt that doesn’t allow me to do so.
“Take all the time you need. You deserve all of it.”
I kiss him on the cheek, possibly surprising everyone, including myself, before I join Zander.
Sophia is nowhere to be found by the time we’re ready to leave. Maybe she’s just as overwhelmed as everyone else. This family gathering has been a long time coming for her too.
20
ROSE
“What’s that?” Zander cocks his head toward the journal resting before me on the bed.
My gaze follows him as he plugs his phone into the charger, and then it skims to his back and his tapered waist. When he sees my attention wandering, he smirks and flexes his arm, giving me a better view. My heart races, and a weird giggle escapes me when he puts his hands at the back of his head, flaunting those muscular arms and back. He looks at me over his shoulder with a twinkle in his eyes.
Woof, he is hot! And by some miracle, he’s all mine. I do a happy squeal and he chuckles.
My smile and giddiness fall when I spot the rose thorns digging into his skin and drawing blood. I try to focus on the other images, but as always, my gaze slides back to his shoulder.
“Rose, I’m different now.” He perches next to me on the bed and caresses my face with his long fingers.
I know he no longer feels that abhorrence of the flower. But I can’t help wondering if I’m hurting him in some way…just by existing.
“You being in my life has healed me in a way I never thought was possible.” As always, he reads my heart and says the perfect thing.
“Me too. You did more than heal me. You breathed life into me, Zander.”
When he kisses my face, starting at my forehead, moving to the tip of my nose, and finally reaching my lips, my toes curl. My fingers clutching the bedsheet meet something hard, and I look down to find the journal
Zander smiles and places it back onto my lap. “Tell me, what is this?”
I graze the golden spine with my fingertips. “Ash gave it to me. It’s Sophia’s. From when she was pregnant.”
“With you?” His eyebrows rise in surprise. When I nod, he asks, “You planning on reading it?”
“I want to. This is my first connection to my…mother, my family. But I’m also scared.” My heartbeat races against my chest as I whisper, “What if there’s something I don’t like? What if Sophia…never wanted me?” I hate the words coming out of my mouth, but I also can’t get rid of these insecurities, however hard I try. I’ve struggled with the feeling of being unwanted for so long that I don’t know how to escape it.
“I don’t think that’s possible, couch girl. Beast would have never given you this otherwise.” He holds the journal in his hands, turning it around. “Doesn’t it look familiar?”
“What do you mean?”
“It looks similar to the one you got for Kristy.”
I take stock of the leather-bound book in his hand.
Sweet sugar! He’s right.
This is so similar to my own purchase. On one hand, I can’t believe it, but on the other, I’m not surprised. Sophia and I always had similar tastes. I run my hand over the cover, which has Made with Love embossed in gold.