“You should call for the car, sir.”
He glanced up at me, and I had to keep speaking, or I would smack myself and stop. “If she gets on that plane, sir, she will not come back. If you do not stop her, you will lose her.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“What?”
“I know she will not come back, Iskandar. But I’ve known that since the day she woke up and would not see me. I hoped I was wrong. I have been sitting here, working to pass the time, praying she would call me to come to her. But she hasn’t, and she won’t because I’ve lost her already. Now I know for sure. So, I do not need the car.”
“If you go after her—”
“What right do I have to go after her, Iskandar? What can I tell her? I could not even protect her in my home. The most senior, most trusted man—the man I entrusted her to tried to kill her. Oh no, let me correct that. He did not wish to kill her; he simply wished for her to lose our child, and she did. He wanted her to leave, and now she is. I left her with a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and now I should run and ask her to trust me again? What fucking right do I have? I can offer her nothing but stress and fear. I cannot protect her, Iskandar!” He slammed his wrist hard on the desk, and everything shook. “I’m letting her go. Please, do not push me. I want to go as it is, but I cannot protect her.”
“Forgive me, sir,” I said, turning to leave.
And this was—this was why we didn’t give our fucking opinions.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Why did I do that?
“It is hard,” Balduin said, cleaning his glasses.
“What is hard?”
“Not seeing them as family,” he stated, putting his glasses on his face. “Because the truth is, we see them more than our families. We dedicate our lives to them. So, of course, we want them to be happy. If we didn’t, if you only ever cared about the order and your own code, you’d be like Mr. Ambrose. He did not believe Ms. Odette was the right fit for the monarchy. He cared more about preserving what he believed the monarchy to be than the actual monarchs. That’s how he crossed the line. Order is good, Iskandar. But sometimes, we have to care about the people. So do not beat yourself up about it.”
“Since when could you read me so well?”
“Since you first came. Who do you think suggested you to Prince Arthur?” He chuckled, moving to knock on the door. “I may be small, but I’m very smart. And I will be smarter in the future to protect this family. I can never allow such a mistake as Ambrose to happen again. As will you.”
I nodded.
I would be. I swore it.
Chapter 29