CHAPTERFOURTEEN
Evie had lost her nerve.
There was no other way to describe what had happened. She’d started so strongly, this morning in the barn, telling him about her fears. But then she’d gone silent again when he’d began assuring her that he’d help her find another suitor, she’d been unable to go on.
He’d clearly already moved on. A man didn’t offer to help a woman find other suitors if he really cared. Did he?
So her confession of love seemed ill-advised.
At least that’s what she kept telling herself as she turned in front of the mirror, surveying her gown. A pale pink silk, the fabric shimmered in the candlelight.
But another voice whispered that she’d not be happy with herself until she told him the whole truth.
And she faced a few of her own.
She was afraid of his rejection. Of any rejection. But if she wanted to be her best self, she had to begin facing those feelings. Like she had with her mother in the kitchen when she’d called her out.
Evie didn’t have to confront people all the time, but she had to start being brave when it mattered.
She could see that now.
Her breath trembled out of her, as she turned away from the looking glass and started for the door.
Evan would be in attendance tonight. She hoped.
It was the final event and his aunt’s party. Surely, he’d come.
But as the evening wore on, she didn’t see him. Not in the foyer, or the sitting room, or even the dining room.
So, as the ladies made their way to the music room, Evie broke from the crowd, and started for the kitchen. She slipped down the servants’ stairs and was rewarded when she heard the deep baritone of his voice echoing off the stone in the kitchen.
For a moment she paused just outside the kitchen door, her pulse throbbing in her ears, as she drew in several gulps of air to slow her galloping heart.
And then she stepped into the kitchen.
The staff bustled about, clearing the evening’s meal as Evan sat in a corner with a plate of food.
He wore an evening jacket as though he’d planned to attend. Why wouldn’t he then?
Slipping past a footman with a large stack of dirty dishes, she made her way over to his stool.
“Evie,” he said, his eyes widening in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
She swallowed down a lump as she stopped. “Well. You see…” She looked helplessly at Mrs. Derby, who gave her a soft smile. “The larder is quiet,” the other woman whispered. “I’ll be just outside the open door if you need me.”
Evie gave her a smile of appreciation before her gaze met Evan’s once again. “I didn’t say all I needed to this morning.”
His eyes widened in surprise as he stood, setting his plate aside. And then he reached for her hand and pulled her toward the larder.
The interior was cooler than the kitchen and she shivered. Likely as much because of her own fear as the temperature. But Evan’s bare hands came up to rub her arms just below her puff sleeves.
“Are you all right?”
“Fine,” she whispered as she squared her shoulders. Her chin came up. “You see. The other day, when you heard what I said to my mother, I didn’t tell her the whole truth.”
“All right.”
“I…” Her eyes drifted closed. “I was tired of her meddling and I wanted her to see that she needed to factor in my feelings before she started pulling the strings of my life.”