A few heads turned their way. Across the room, Cousin Andrew frowned. Brand held up a hand, presumably to tell his brother all was well. “Of course I don’t think that.” His tone was low, in an attempt to soothe. “I’m merely saying that you are innocent in all things romantic or smacking of match making.”
“Whose fault is that?” Her voice rose. “Family left me to asylum in that! No one cared.”
Brand’s eye widened. “Calm yourself, Caroline. I don’t want to see your heart broken or you hurt. I meant no offense.”
This was why she despised mingling with others. It never ended well. Everyone wished her calm, yet not one of them acknowledged that their behavior was what had irritated her to begin with. Calm, which assumed any other feelings she might have were wrong.
“But you don’t think I can try. No one wants to see what I can do. You don’t let me be me.” Was she too broken for all of that? Did it show in her face? Panic rose in her chest. The room and its inhabitants seemed to close in on her. “That no man will have me due to my fractured mind.”
“Pardon me, but is there an issue here?”
Caroline’s heart beat a bit faster at the sound of his familiar voice. She whirled around in time to meet John’s gaze. Concern clouded those golden-brown depths. Immediately, his presence was like a warm, heavy blanket around her. “John. You came.” At the back of her mind, she recognized that she should probably address him formally when in public, but that seemed a waste of time. He was John regardless of where they were.
“How could I not when you’re dressed like a vision?” He took one of her gloved hands and placed a kiss upon the back, and her heart beat even faster. A hand kiss! Then he glanced at Brand. “Good evening, Captain.”
“It’s good to see you, John.” There was such relief in her cousin’s face that she narrowed her eyes, and when John released her hand, she almost cried out from the break of connection.
“The two of you seemed about to have an argument,” the big man continued. The rumbling sound of his voice washed over her, scrubbing, cleansing, pushing the animosity to the sides where it couldn’t harm her. “Is there something I can assist with?”
“No.” Brand shook his head. “It was nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything, for it upset Caroline.” Then he looked at her. “Perhaps you should go lie down.”
Some of her simmering anger boiled over. “Not an invalid I am!”
“All right.” Brand held up a hand. “Again, no offense meant. I’m merely trying to look out for you.”
“Didn’t ask me what I wanted,” she hissed as her chest tightened. “No one ever does. I can think for myself.” That was one of the biggest problems she faced. Her thoughts were quite clear, but conveying them to others was what made her look like an idiot.
When someone in the room called for dancing and Cousin Andrew ordered the furniture put to the sides and the rugs rolled back, John drew him a few steps away. “Perhaps I can talk to her somewhere quieter. Your cousin doesn’t enjoy crowds of strangers.”
Brand snorted. “If you ask me, she doesn’t enjoy people in general.”
“You simply need to show patience, my friend, and compassion.” He clapped her cousin on his shoulder. Each movement showed his big body to advantage. In his formal clothing, he was no less rugged, but he looked a tad uncomfortable, as if he weren’t sure of his own place among these glittering allegedly perfect people. “Go enjoy yourself. Too soon you’ll return to Ipswich and this world will be but a memory.”
“Thank you.” He nodded then left to assist with the rugs.
John returned and offered her his arm, bent at the elbow. “Would you indulge me in a walk this evening, Miss Storme? I find all this falderol bothersome.”
“Where?” She didn’t trust most people, but whenever this man came near, it was much easier to do.
“Wherever the wind takes us.” He grinned, and flutters danced through her belly. “It’s a fine evening. The stars are out. The gaslights are glimmering, and there’s the veriest hint of autumn in the air. And you look like a fallen moonbeam. What else could we possibly need?”
Oh, his words were poetical and smacked of romance. They painted a picture in her mind that made her wish to run upstairs and grab her sketch pad, but he might vanish if she delayed. “I wanted my magical wand and tiara.”
“The ones you received at Christmastide?”
“Yes.” He remembered!
“They would make a fine addition to the magical gown.”
“Sarah said no, that I wasn’t a child.” Tears threatened. Why could she never enjoy things that brought her happiness? She’d had enough of that stolen when in the asylum.
“I’m sorry to hear that. If it were up to me, you could wear the damned tiara whenever you wished.”
“You are a good man.” Caroline nodded and laid a hand upon his sleeve. He offered a respite from the storm she’d landed into. “Often do you gaze at the stars?” In his company, it didn’t matter overly much that her words were jumbled or out of order. He never made her feel that she was an idiot for not speaking as well as others.
“Every chance I have, Miss Storme.” He smiled down as her as he led her around the perimeter of the room to the open terrace doors. “The skies hold many mysteries, and the stars tell more stories than a library full of books.”
“I adore books.”