“Listen to you! In the past, every woman was fair game, regardless of whether she was with you or me. I told you everything that went on between Elizabeth and me.”
“Did you though?” John narrowed his eyes on his best friend. “I rather think you kept the good parts—the special parts—to yourself.”
It was Brand’s turn to suffer a flush of embarrassment. “Of course you’re right.” But he wouldn’t leave the topic alone. “Yet you haven’t had relations with your wife.”
“No. Not really.” John heaved out a breath that seemed to come from his toes. “For the time being, we are learning about each other, and I’m discovering how to interact with her in a way she can understand. She’s never been around men, never had a Season, never has had the freedom to explore who is she and where she fits in with the world, so I’m going slow. I don’t want to shock her, send her retreating further into herself where her mind might play tricks with her.”
“Damn, John, you’re a good man. Better than me, I’ll wager, but then I’ve always thought that.”
He shrugged. “Perhaps. Caroline is my wife. She’s not someone I’ll trifle with for a while and then leave. Our marriage is for a lifetime, and it’s my hope we’ll eventually share a deep and profound connection.” The admission surprised him. Where had it come from? His future certainly wasn’t settled, and he had no idea how to keep Caroline in the style to which she’d become accustomed but being with her in any capacity right now was enough. “However, that doesn’t negate the fact the desire I have is without an outlet. Yes, it’s a tad frustrating, and I can admit I’ve walked the acreage more than a few times with a raging cockstand, but that’s better than frightening her back into her shell.”
“Sometimes women vex the hell out of us.” Brand snickered. “I appreciate that you offered for her. No other man would have been right for her, and I know you’ll treat her well, regardless of where your union goes.” Brand remained silent for long moments. “Damn, but I miss Elizabeth and the baby.” Longing filled his expression. “I hated to leave them so soon after the birth, but it couldn’t be helped. Potential investors into the shipping business mean so much to our fledgling enterprise.”
“Will you return to Ipswich soon?”
“I would like to, after my stint here is finished. Business in London has concluded. We’ve secured enough backing to purchase another sloop. That alone will expand our reach and allow for more clients.”
“That’s wonderful news.” John grinned. “It’ll provide a steady income for us all.”
“Indeed.” Brand leaned forward again and met his gaze. “You were worried about providing a life for Caroline.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes. A man can’t be married while still renting bachelor rooms at an inn.” A wave of homesickness smacked into his chest. “Damn but I miss Ipswich. I miss the sea, the harbor, fishing, the unhurried lifestyle. London isn’t as welcoming to me.”
“Then why haven’t you made inroads into leaving?”
John blew out a breath. “My first priority is to Caroline. I don’t want to move her until our marriage is a bit more stable, until she’s sure.”
“Of the union or you?”
“I don’t know.” It was a question he asked himself all the time. He’d thought with the intimacy they shared yesterday that he might see a marked improvement, but his wife had been reticent this morning over the breakfast table. Had she not enjoyed herself? Or conversely, had the excess of feelings turned her against anything further between them? “Caroline remains an enigma to me, a challenge I’m not certain I have the wherewithal to undertake.” He pressed his lips together as he thought about his next words. “She won’t let me past her defenses. Much of that is no doubt due to her time in the asylum, but I worry it’s me.”
“You’ve taken the initiative. Perhaps it’s time to do more.”
“Like?”
“Do the same first. Open up to her about your life. Caroline has lived a different existence from us. I can’t imagine what she’s still feeling.” Brand shook his head. “Show her you need her.”
The new way of looking at him sent a thrill of excitement down his spine. “I do need her.” John launched to his feet as a bout of restlessness suddenly took hold. “I married her so that she could be free, but I have a feeling she’s doing the same for me, little by little.” Heat infused his face. “I look forward to seeing how we’ll grow together.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve already started that fall, my friend.”
“I don’t know about that.” Yet he couldn’t deny he wished already to be wherever she was. “She’s a brilliant painter. I’d like to give her the space for a studio if we can find a cottage we both like in Ipswich.”
Brand beamed as he stood. “Perhaps she’ll get on with Elizabeth.”
“We won’t know until we try.” Though Caroline had a sister, regretfully, she wasn’t close with Isobel. Granted, Isobel was a hoyden that even her brother couldn’t handle. Still, John would like his wife to have a friend. He glanced out the windows once more. “Let’s collect Caroline and take her to the maze. I’ll wager her mind is sharp enough to zero in on the heart without instruction.”
“And I’ll wager I can make it to the center before the two of you, even though I’ve not been there since childhood.” With a mischievous light in his eye, Brand darted from the room by way of the terrace doors.
“Prepare for disappointment, Captain!” John ran out after him. “Caroline! Caroline, we’re going to the maze!” He tore down the few steps, nearly on Brand’s heels. When they crashed into the garden, his wife yanked her head up from contemplation of the canvas on the easel. “I’ve a wager with Brand that we’ll make it to the heart first.” Reckless in his enthusiasm, John tugged her hand and brought her to her feet.
“I’ve not been there. In years.”
“All the more reason to go together.”
“But—” She squealed when he scooped her up into his arms and dropped her paintbrush to the grass below. “What are you about?”
“Encouraging you to remember.” Damn but she felt good—right—in his hold, and when she clutched his shoulders, he grinned. “We can’t let your cocky cousin win.”