Chapter Fifteen
Brand stood at the stern, staring out over the dark water of the harbor, somewhere between his side and that of Lord Nelson’s. Midnight had just passed, and now the night skies were a velvety black, punctuated with thousands of twinkling stars. The relatively cool summer air wafted over his bare chest; he’d only thrown on a pair of breeches he’d grabbed from a drawer beneath his bunk. For one second, he paused and looked up into the heavens. It had never been his want to pray or even initiate a conversation with the Creator, but his chest was tight from the effort of holding back years’ worth of straining emotions, and after the time he’d spent with Elizabeth this night, he felt compelled to say… something.
Uh… Dear God, I’m merely one small human in a vast world full of the same, yet I want to say how extremely grateful I am for what’s been given to me so far.
He blew out a breath of frustration. That wasn’t at all what he’d wanted to convey. Since the advent of Elizabeth, his life had tilted like a drunken sailor on deck. Perpetually, it seemed, he found himself at sixes and sevens while around her, but when he wasn’t with her, he wanted to be. And not merely in the physical sense… though when they’d finally coupled, it had been nothing short of brilliant.
Lizzy, what have you done to me?
Not a half hour had passed since he’d claimed her body. She’d fallen asleep immediately afterward, while he’d at first held her, but then guilt had prompted him to leave the bed. Unfortunately, there was nowhere to flee while on a ship, so he’d opted for navigating the Charlotte into open waters and then pacing the deck once the anchor had been dropped.
Neither activity had cleared his thoughts, for he couldn’t escape memories of Elizabeth. The softness of her skin had his fingers itching to touch her again, the faint apple blossom scent of her perfume haunted him, the tight snugness of her body made him crave the act of burying his prick into her heat once more. The way she’d looked, the tears of joy that had fallen when she’d hit release all worked together, called to him as if she were a siren of old.
And yet, none of it was real, for he’d bedded her to win a wager. Hadn’t he?
“Brand?”
The tentative sound of his name in her voice brought him out of his whirling, tumbling thoughts. Though his mind remained conflicted, he turned, and then caught his breath. Elizabeth stood on deck, clad in her shift with the opal necklace almost gleaming in the moonlight. Oh, God. Earlier he’d stripped her down except for that bauble and it had been one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen.
“Elizabeth. I thought you were sleeping.” Awareness rushed over his skin prompting every fiber of his being to pay attention.
“I was, but then I awoke and when you weren’t beside me, I became worried.” Her shrug was as elegant as any duchess. “I made use of a chamber pot and the wash basin. Everything is quite efficient on this sloop that I adore the coziness of it.”
His heart squeezed and his breath once more stalled. “It makes for a certain ease, though if I had a larger vessel, there’d be more room for comfort.” Of all things holy on land and sea, I’m in a right proper fix. He was invested too deeply in this woman, and if he didn’t stop his current slide, he’d end up in unfamiliar territory that he might not escape.
“Oh, but then you’d require more hands to help pilot such a craft. The privacy of communing with the sea would vanish.” She came forward, a veritable water spirit in the thin shift that revealed the hard outline of her nipples. “Were you… ah… satisfied with what we did tonight?”
How could she think he wasn’t? Something intimate, dare he say special had been exchanged between them, almost as if she’d taken a part of his soul and had given him a portion of hers in its place. The knowledge rocked him to his core, for nothing of that sort had happened to him before. Not even when he’d fancied himself in love years ago.
No, no, no! Am I in love now?That simply wasn’t possible!
But she waited for an answer. “I’ve not enjoyed anything quite as much as being with you.” The whispered words squeezed from a suddenly tight throat. Emotions he’d long denied over the years battered his insides in a bit to be set free. He held them back as best he could, but soon he’d break, and they’d have at him.
“I’m glad.” Her smile could rival the stars, and once more, the sensation of standing on shifting sand assailed him. “I found it wonderful, but I remain curious about the deed.” When she paused in front of him, her smile faded around the edges. “Thank you for taking the time to show me at least part of that mystery.”
Damn it all to hell.Because he’d bedded her on his sloop in an impromptu moment, he’d not given thought to wearing a sheath or even having one at hand. What if she began increasing due to their coupling? A touch of dizziness infused him, and he stumbled in the attempt to keep his footing. Would she demand marriage? Worse yet, would he even know? If she intended to travel to India with her brother, he’d probably never see her again.
Dear God, this is a disaster.
But she peered at him with a slight frown and a tilted head, so he said, “I wouldn’t have missed what we shared for the world.” At least that was the truth, and he’d told precious little of that to her since they’d met.
“Good.” Instantly, the worry cleared from her expression. Joy lit her eyes. “Will you take me home?”
“Is that what you wish?” The thought of quitting her company so soon left him in a cold sweat. Now that it was after midnight, he only had this one day left with her. One day remaining to win that damned wager…
“Not really.” She glanced over his shoulder at the dark and quiet harbor. “Such a pleasant sight to see the glimmer of a few candles burning and the stars reflected in the water. How fortunate you are to be able to enjoy this whenever you please.”
“Aye.” Desperate to keep her with him in the hopes he’d forget the despicable thing he’d done to her—was still doing—he threw his gaze about the deck. “Care to watch the stars with me?” When she nodded, he drew her over to a pile of sails that needed mending. “It’s not a luxurious bed, but you have to admit the view is worth all the riches in the world.”
“Do you know any romantic seafaring tales?” she asked as soon as he’d settled her into his arms as she reclined on his side.
“Not really. Most of the stories and legends I’ve picked up are about sirens and mermaids luring unfortunate men to their deaths beneath the water. Or those of beings like the selkies who pick up and leave love and family behind to answer the call of the sea.”
“How odd that sailors are so resistant to happily ever afters.” A sigh escaped her, and she smiled into the night sky. “I never realized how beautiful Ipswich was, but perhaps that’s because I’ve not seen it by starlight.”
“I quite agree.” Except he wasn’t looking at the stars, but at her. How had he ever thought her as plain or mousy? “Shall I tell you a story about some of the constellations? This one has a happy ending. During my time in the Navy, some of my mates educated me on the constellations while we were taught how to navigate by the stars.”
She turned her head and met his gaze. “I would enjoy that.”