“I can understand that. The hours spent on your sloop have been nothing short of magnificent. To travel the world, visit new places… So much freedom.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and shivered when his regard dropped to her mouth. “What happens when you settle down? Surely you’ll want to give up such a life.” But oh, how wonderful it would be if he didn’t. Married to an adventurous sort of man. Imagine such an existence!
“If I fall into the parson’s mousetrap, I suppose my life will be over.” He frowned. “I can’t give up the sea, not even for a woman.”
Her budding dreams for a future died in that moment. From his own admission he wasn’t the marrying kind. “How truly sad.” She turned her head and regarded the water once more so he wouldn’t see the cold disappointment flooding her person. “I like to think life would then begin again once marriage vows are taken, but in a different way.”
“How so?” Curiosity threaded through those two words.
“Each stage of life is a new beginning. There are new people to meet, new tasks to learn, new roads to travel. I’ve only trod one path, but I’m anxious to find another, and then another, and so on until my life is filled with memories and experiences. That’s what makes living worthwhile.”
Brand remained silent for long moments. He cursed beneath his breath. Then, he laid a palm against her cheek and moved her head until their gazes connected. “How does that make you feel knowing this is where you are, and those paths might not open for you?” The whispered words held such emotion that the same blazed in his eye, but she couldn’t read it.
“Trapped.” Her own whisper was forced through a tight throat. “Frightened, as if I’ll never know the life I should live due to following William’s.” She swallowed down the fear, the uncertainty, and lifted her chin. “Despite what seems impossible right now, I have faith I’ll find my way.”
“What if you don’t?”
“Then I’ll keep waiting. God knows when the timing is right. I’ll merely need to practice patience.” With a shrug, she gave him a wobbly smile. “Like you said, it’s past time I should have found my own path, so that is what I’ll do.”
“We never know what we’re capable of until we try and take that first, anxious step.”
“Yes.” She brushed a shock of hair off his forehead. “Will you pray with me, help me ask God what I should do next?”
A flush appeared on Brand’s neck that spread upward into his face. His mouth worked like a caught fish, but finally, he nodded. “I… I suppose I can if it will help you.”
Joy filled her chest. “It has always given me a sense of peace and happiness, just as being with you does.” Had she said too much?
“Oh.” Guilt stamped across his face, followed by a profound sadness she couldn’t understand, but he took her hand. His shook as he held hers. Why was he so nervous? Or perhaps he was afraid. Poor man. “Whatever you need, I’ll endeavor to make it yours.” Why did his voice sound rough and graveled?
She dismissed it as nerves. “Thank you.” Then she closed her eyes. Perhaps all he needed was someone to believe in him without conditions, and then perhaps he’d realize that he rather enjoyed having her around. “Heavenly Father…”