Did he feel the same way about her? Outside of those kisses, it was difficult to discern. He kept his emotions close to his chest. Perhaps to him, she was only a fleeting interest, and if he’d been with a different lady in that phaeton, he would have no doubt kissed her too.
Cold disappointment circled through her midsection as she completed her task. When she looked up again, Finn was there, waiting in front of the desk. “Good afternoon, Major Storme,” she managed to force out in a whisper.
“Good afternoon, Lady Jane.”
“How did you know I was here?”
“I called at your home as requested, but finding you out, I asked the butler where you might be this time of day. So, I came over.” He grinned, but she dropped her gaze, suddenly shy in his company after what she’d seen and thought. “What’s wrong? Your eyes are red.” He lowered his voice. “Have you been crying?”
“Yes.” In the event he didn’t hear her tiny answer, she nodded and kept her focus on her hands.
“Why?”
“I’d prefer not to say just now.” How could she tell him that her respect for him soared without him interpreting it as pity?
“I see.” Silence brewed between them while the clinic bustled with life around them. He cleared his throat. “My carriage is waiting outside. Would you allow me to take you home?”
“That would be lovely.” Finally, she raised her gaze to his. Compassion and worry clouded his sapphire eyes, and her heart trembled. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” A tentative smile curved his sensuous mouth. “I’ll even let you push me outside without complaint.”
“And that will be my pleasure,” she whispered as tears welled again in her eyes. It took a few minutes to remove the apron and hang it on a peg and then wash her hands again before she helped it outside.
At the curb where the shiny closed carriage waited, with the golden crest of the Hadleigh family—two swords and a spear encompassed by a swirling storm—the driver lifted him out of the Bath chair and into the carriage. While Finn scooted across the bench, Jane glimpsed the driver strap the chair to the rear of the vehicle with a set of leather straps and buckles before she climbed into the carriage. Her stomach plummeted, for London wasn’t an easy place for the disabled to navigate. In that Finn was fortunate, but what of the rest of the men in Bath chairs? Or the men who couldn’t afford even that?
A strangled sob escaped. She turned her face to the window as the carriage lurched into motion. No longer was her world bright and happy with a rainbow of colors. Shades of gray had intruded into the picture.
“I like the clinic.” The rumbling tenor of Finn’s voice broke into her musings. “I felt comfortable there, as if some of the men need my experience. They understand me and my unique struggles as well as the difficulties with acclimating to the civilian life.”
Jane wiped at a tear on her cheek but didn’t look at him. “You’re more than welcome to visit any time you wish. Trey could use the counseling help.”
“I could see that. It was quite busy.”
“I’ll put in a good word for you with my brothers,” she assured him in a flat tone. The enthusiasm for the day had paled. Suddenly, she hated her place in the world with its privilege and its shielding.
“Thank you.” When she didn’t respond, he sighed. “Jane, tell me what’s bothering you.” The worry in his voice broke through her thoughts and her reserve.
Briefly, she gave him an account of how she’d spent the last couple of hours. “I had no idea what your injury entailed, couldn’t fathom what you’d meant when you tried to explain it to me yesterday, but now that I’ve seen…” Her words trailed away as she met his gaze.
He frowned. “No pity, remember?”
“I’m not pitying you.” She moistened her lips. Her heartbeat accelerated when he watched the movement. “In fact, I’m quite in awe of you.” A tear fell to one cheek then another. “And I’m definitely not worthy of being your friend… or whatever it is we are to each other,” she couldn’t help throwing in.
“Ah, Jane.” Finn patted the bench next to him. “Come here.”
She accepted the invitation with alacrity. The warmth of him seeped into her, but even that didn’t sweep away the chill that had invaded her person. “I’m so sorry that I assumed a positive attitude and thought a sunny disposition could fix everything.” Another few drops wetted her cheeks. “I was so stupid. No wonder you were angry at me.”
“Hush.” He turned his body and then gently wiped away the moisture from her skin. “There’s no need for this self-recrimination.”
“Oh, but there is. I’ve been content to sit in my ivory tower, never dirtying my hands with real work, and now that I’ve seen the disparity of our worlds, I’m compelled to do something about it.”
“Then you belong to a small percentage of the ton who wishes to give back and improve conditions for the less fortunate. I’m proud of you.” The delicate skin at the corners of his eyes crinkled with a grin. “Now that you know, I don’t doubt you’ll set the beau monde on fire.”
A rush of pleasant sensation encompassed her from his praise. “Thank you for that.” On impulse, she surged upward and pressed her lips to his in a brief kiss.
Finn pulled back and stared into her eyes. What the deuce was he looking for, and why did she hope that he found it? Then, with a groan, he gathered her into his arms and treated her to a series of long, drugging kisses that had her perilously close to forgetting her name… and everything else. The desire between them was a palatable entity. Heat swirled through her insides as awareness danced over her skin. She knew one thing with crystal clarity—she wanted him as a woman to a man.
All too soon, the carriage rocked to a stop, and she and Finn sprang apart staring at each other.