“It suits you.” He took her free hand and fastened the bracelet about her wrist. “You should always wear emeralds.” They were a brilliant contrast to her ivory skin and brought out the golden flecks in her irises. Holding her gaze, he brought her gloved hand to his lips and kissed the back. It trembled while he did so. Was she as nervous as he?
“We should go,” she whispered, but she didn’t move.
Neither did he. “Yes.” She was so lovely with tears shimmering in her eyes behind those lenses and a trace of color in her cheeks that he wanted to kiss her, but fear held him back. He couldn’t do anything that might sacrifice the work they’d already put in. For if he kissed her now, he’d want more, and when that happened, would he lose control over his other emotions if he were distracted? Not having answers, he shoved the thoughts away. “We should. I merely wished to see the effect of the jewelry on you.”
“They’re the most beautiful pieces I’ve ever worn.” Sarah lifted onto her toes and bussed his cheek. “Let me grab my wrap…”
Twenty minutes later when their carriage trip began, familiar anxiety tightened Drew’s chest. If he lost his temper tonight, word would filter to London. His name and Sarah’s would be bandied about in whispers. What would happen then?
“Don’t worry so.” Sarah left her bench to sit beside him. She took his hand. “It will go smoothly.” The touch warmed him through and brought a measure of calm. “Don’t dwell of what might go wrong. Only put faith in your strengths and what you contribute to the area.” She squeezed his fingers. “For as long as you need me, I’ll stand beside you.”
Does that mean in a forever kind of way?Did he want that?
Out loud, he said, “I appreciate that.” More and more he was coming to rely on her. Merely having Sarah near, being able to see her, hear her voice helped alleviate the need to overthink every little problem.
The dim interior of the carriage hid her expression, but he imagined she smiled when she looked at him. “I must admit, I’m not keen on seeing my great uncle again, but we do what we must at times to keep the surrounding neighbors happy. Besides, goodwill never goes to waste.”
Teach me how to be gracious after all that has happened to me.
Drew didn’t voice the thought. Instead, he nodded and held onto her hand. “God willing, the evening will go quickly.”
*
An hour latersaw him visiting throughout the drawing room, behaving with civility, and even letting himself laugh at a few jokes some of the men told. Every minute of being in the public eye was a challenge and he constantly fought against falling into the old habit of letting anxiety take control, but Sarah didn’t leave his side. Her presence made all the difference. She was genial and demure, even in the face of subtle comments regarding her sudden elevation of position from a few of the more catty ladies.
He happened to witness one such conversation between Sarah, her great aunt, and a squire’s wife as he listened with half an ear to her great uncle extoll the virtues of different farming techniques.
“How lucky you are to find yourself a countess,” the tall, thin woman with a horse face said as she sipped from a cup of punch. “There were many other women, younger ladies with more to recommend them, who the earl could have chosen. Why, my own daughter would truly cherish such a boon.”
Sarah caught his eye. He cocked an eyebrow. Would she rise to the challenge? Then she snapped her attention back to the squire’s wife. “I’m sure she would, but in Hadleigh’s case, I believe he made the right choice.”
Her aunt sniffed. “You’ve only been his countess for two weeks. As of yet, I haven’t heard of you visiting, nor have you done any charity work. Inexperience might become a detriment to his career.”
“Whether you believe it or not, my time has been spoken for with other matters,” Sarah responded with a faint hint of annoyance in her voice. “The position of countess isn’t something one can master in a fortnight.”
Both women exchanged glances, then the squire’s wife lowered her voice. “What of children, my lady? He’ll want an heir, I’m sure, but I rather doubt someone so… well, someone your age might have difficulties—”
“That is quite my own business, isn’t it?” Sarah interrupted with slightly reddened cheeks.
Drew quelled the urge to chuckle. He excused himself and then crossed the floor to where Sarah stood. “I couldn’t help overhearing, but I couldn’t have a better countess than Sarah. She’s been an immense help to me already, and in time, I don’t doubt she’ll make a rather permanent stamp on society.”
The squire’s wife narrowed her beady eyes. “Well, if you are happy then we don’t have room to complain.”
Was he happy? In this moment, he was. “Thank you. I’ve found a woman with life experience is vastly more valuable than an untried debutante who’d probably be frightened of her own shadow, let alone the duties set before a countess.”
Mottled color covered the woman’s chest. “If you’ll excuse me?”
“Of course.” Drew took Sarah’s hand and put it on his sleeve as he guided her across the room. “I adore it when your dander is up,” he whispered into her ear.
She bit her bottom lip when a smile formed. “Do hush. People can hear you.”
Watching her, witnessing how she reacted and responded to people, his own confidence grew, and with each new person he talked with, he was certain that attending to the responsibilities of the earl might not end as traumatically as he’d first thought.
Once the furniture had been pushed to the sides of the large room and the rugs rolled up, dancing began, and that hard-won confidence slipped. One of the guests played a pianoforte while another had procured a violin. The hold on his control wavered, for he was obliged to dance with various local women and their daughters. And when Sarah partnered other men, he discovered a new emotion he never encountered before—jealousy.
Under no circumstances did he like his wife being with other men. Regardless of whether the reels and country dances were purely for entertainment and exercise, no one had the right to touch her except him. As he struggled with a tight chest and piercing jealousy, she finally drifted back to his side, slightly breathless, with high color in her cheeks.
“Oh, these people and their false goodwill!” The words, couched in an urgent whisper, surprised him. That color wasn’t from exertion, it was from anger. “They simply can’t understand how an insignificant woman like me landed an earl. And because they don’t believe me, they made their husbands or brothers question me during dancing.” She shook her head. “The unmitigated gall of it! As if I’d give a completely different set of answers.”