She stood and started cleaning up the movie snacks. She picked up the bowl, making sure to gather the popcorn that was scattered on the couch, and then grabbed the sippy cups. After taking the bowl to the trash she dumped out the unpopped popcorn and then rinsed it out, setting it in the drying rack and did the same thing with the sippy cups the girls had used after the soda spilling at dinner.
When she got back to the living room, she looked around and was amazed at how much of a mess two little people could make. It looked like a tornado had hit the place. She figured she’d start by cleaning up the dining room table and work her way out. She started straightening up the papers that she and the girls had been coloring on and gathering up the crayons. When she went to put them away in the cabinet a notebook fell out. It fell open to a page of handwritten words.
Firefly
Bright against the midnight sky
You shine light in the darkness
You luminate
You glow
The flutter of your wings
The whisper of your flight
The softness in your…
“Thanks for your help toni—"Josh’s sentence dropped off mid word and she lifted her head and saw him staring at the notebook in her hands.
“Did you write this?” she asked.
All of the color drained from his face. “Yeah.” Josh took the notebook from her hands, and she suddenly realized that it probably looked like she’d been snooping.
“I was just putting the coloring books away and it fell out.”
“It’s fine,” his tone was clipped. She could tell that he was upset that she’d seen what she had.
“I didn’t see that much. Just one poem and I thought it was beautiful.”
“Thanks.” He put the notebook into the cabinet and shut the door.
“Josh, I’m sorry.” He’d never been mad at her before and seeing him like this made her feel sick to her stomach. She didn’t know what to say, so she just repeated what she’d already said. “I was putting the coloring books away and it just fell out.”
The corner of his lips turned up and she saw the light that she’d been missing in his eyes. “You were snooping. You got caught. Let’s not make a big deal about it,” he teased.
She knew if he was joking around about the situation he wasn’t upset, or if he was, he was going to get over it. A weight lifted off her shoulders and she chuckled and threw a crayon at him. He lifted his hand and easily caught it, because he had ninja-like reflexes, and the inner walls of her sex clenched. She must have it bad if just seeing him catch a crayon was making lady parts flutter.
“Before I caught you snooping, I was just saying, thanks for helping me tonight.”
“Of course! I love those kids. They’re great!” Audrey enthused.
He stared down at her and she could see that beneath his deep brown eyes there was a world of emotion swirling.
After several moments, she couldn’t take the suspense anymore and she asked, “What?”
“You’re gonna be a great mom someday,” he spoke in an almost reverent tone.
She let out a forced laugh as she shook her head as she finished putting the crayons back into the box. “No. I won’t.”
There was a moment of silence before Josh insisted, “Yes, you will. Kids love you and you’re great with them.”
Audrey looked up at him, thinking that he must be kidding, but when she saw his “serious brows” she knew that he wasn’t. “Oh, no, I wasn’t… I didn’t mean that I would be a bad mom. I mean I’m not going to be a mom.”
Josh blinked at her several times. His expression was a mix of confusion and shock, which she didn’t understand. Finally, he asked, “What? Why not?”
Audrey couldn’t believe that Josh was asking her that. But then she realized that they may not have ever discussed whether or not they wanted kids before, just like they’d never discussed her dating life?