“I … I figured you sent me to deal with Carlos as a way of making it right, but I see now that you just didn’t have the guts to tell me yourself. Well, that’s fine. I don’t give a shit. I’m out. You can have the leather cut.” She looked toward Carlos. “And as for you, you can go fuck yourself.”
Her world was falling apart.
“Raven.”
They hadn’t been open or honest with her. They’d used her for their own means.
Pregnant.
Alone.
Once again, she had put her trust in someone, and it wasn’t the right thing to do. Turning on her heel, she ran for the main door.
She grabbed the handle, but Carlos stopped her. He pressed his palm above her head, shutting the door. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Let me leave,” she said.
“Raven, it’s not what you think.”
She spun around. “Not what I think? So you didn’t have a deal with Smokey to get rid of me. To knock me up. To use me for your own personal needs.”
“It sounds bad, but it wasn’t.”
“Sounds bad because it fucking is bad.” She shoved her hands against his chest. “Stay the hell away from me.”
“Raven, you are pregnant,” he said.
She opened the door. Stared out at the world and then glanced back at him.
“I love you,” he said.
“I’m done listening to liars.” She stepped out of his home, and once she made it clear of the steps and his gate, even barefoot, she ran.
Raven had no idea where she was going. She only knew that she had to get away from that house. To get away from the crushing feelings building up inside her.
You’re disgusting.
You’re filth.
No one wants you.
No one will ever want you.
Smokey didn’t want her. Carlos had seen her as a business deal.
There was no one for her. Always the same. No one wanted Raven.
“She’s getting too fucking old. No one is going to want her.”
“No one wants used pussy.”
She was going to get sold off. They had used her. Taken what they wanted until there was nothing more to give. She was useless.
Raven stumbled as she vaguely remembered something else, not something, but someone. Drago. He’d been a target of her stepfather’s.
That sick, twisted bastard had wanted to use her to lure Drago in, but she had heard what was going to happen. She was too old for his clientele, so he was going to ship her off. Her mother was dead, and he’d used her for what he could get. He’d already had another single mother in his sights.
With her mother gone, she didn’t care if she made it out alive. She was nothing by that point.
Her stepfather had looked at her like she was crap. Where he’d once looked at her with love and affection, there was this disgust. She had nothing more to offer. She’d gotten older and her virginity was long destroyed.
Drago had been his goal.
Raven hated him. Wanted to make him suffer, so she’d helped Drago.
How had she not remembered until now? There had always been something vaguely familiar about him, and now she knew why. He was from her past.
Stumbling into the park, Raven collapsed onto the nearest bench. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared out at the few families that were taking advantage of the warm weather.
It was due to get cold very soon.
She had nowhere to go. The club was her only home.
Even as people played, laughed, and were being families, Raven was numb. The sounds seemed to go silent on her, and all she could hear was her breathing. Every single moment that had led her here filled her mind, threatening to swallow her whole.
She had a baby coming.
Pregnant. She was going to be a mother.
“Raven?”
At her name, she turned to see Larissa. The brunette had her hair pulled back into a ponytail. A smile on her lips.
“Hey,” Raven said.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
Raven looked at the other woman. Larissa was a sweet, kind soul. Someone who needed to be looked over because the monsters of the world always took advantage of her.
Every time Raven saw her, all she wanted to do was protect her.
Her father was the local priest, a man Raven happened to respect as well. He didn’t demand that she go to church every time she saw him, and he always had a smile and a kind word. They were good people. She didn’t know where Larissa’s mother was, didn’t entirely know their history.
“I’m fine.”
Larissa nodded at the bench. “Can I sit a while?”
Raven nodded. “I don’t own the bench.”
“I love coming here.” Larissa smiled and tilted her head back, looking up at the sunlight.
She stared at the young woman, wondering what it would have been like if her mother hadn’t met that bastard. If it had just been the two of them.
Raven didn’t know what to say to Larissa, so she stayed silent.