“I let one little bullet stop me.”
For another minute, we stand there in the hall, facing each other, not speaking.
Finally, I break the silence. “You think it’syourfault?”
“I think Crystal chose herself for the first and only time in her life,” he says. “I regret a lot of things, but one of the things I regret most is knowing she didn’t get to do it again.”
“She died for it,” I point out.
“I blame myself for forcing her to make that choice more than I do for what happened to her that night,” he says quietly.
I don’t have an answer for that.
“I know you think you have to watch out for our brothers,” he says. “And I’m partially to blame for that. But sometimes, you come before even family.”
“That’s why you wanted to work for Uncle Al,” I say. “Even though I would have been better at it.”
“No,” he says. “That’s the opposite. I wouldn’t ask anyone to do what I do. Killing someone… It does something to you.”
“I know.”
We regard each other carefully.
“You didn’t kill Crystal,” he says again.
“I’m not talking about her.”
King steps across the hall and drags me into his arms. There are a lot of things the men in our family don’t do, but showing affection isn’t one of them. “We’ll get Dad,” he says, holding me around the neck with one arm and gripping my other hand tight in his, pressing our clenched fists between our chests like a promise. “I’ll fly back with you, and I’ll take care of it.”
“No.” I grip his hand just as tightly, pounding him on the back once and then just holding on. I can’t remember the last time I hugged him when it wasn’t an obligation. But somehow, this thing that’s been between us all these years is melting away now that we’ve shone a light on it, given it a name.
Guilt.
“It’s family business,” I say, releasing him at last. “We’ll take care of it together.”
twenty-three
Harper Apple
“I got something for you,” Preston says, handing me his phone.
“Your phone?” I ask. I’ve been texting Royal on it all week, since my own phone is at my house. I feel worse the longer the lie continues, but I don’t want to explain over a text where I am. I know he’ll be pissed, and I’ll deal with it when I get home. Crystal insisted she wants to tell them herself, so I backed off and agreed not to tell anyone we’d found them. It’s their family shit. I’m just the messenger.
Right now, I don’t want to think about what happens to the messenger. I want to sit on the pier and watch the sun setting over the water, the colors breathtakingly beautiful over the rippling water and the stones jutting up from the sand. I thought California would be warm, and I might get to swim in the ocean, but we’re both in sweaters.
“A plane ticket,” he says. “You can ride with Devlin and them if you want, but I thought you’d be more comfortable…”
“Without a screaming heathen in the car with me?”
He cracks a little smile. “I haven’t been around a baby in a while, but she seems extra loud.”
“She’s pretty extra,” I agree. “But I don’t know anything about babies, either.”
We sit in silence for a minute, and then Preston takes my hand. “It’s just one ticket, Harper. Are you okay flying alone?”
“I’ll be fine,” I say. “But why am I not going home with you? Because your truck will be so loaded down with their stuff?”
“No. They’ll ship anything they can’t take in their car.”