“That’s what you said you wanted,” he says. “Why are you questioning it?”
“Because you’re not fighting me,” I say. “You always fight.”
“There’s no point in arguing,” he says with a smirk. “We both know you’re full of shit.”
I grit my teeth and glare. “Because you know me so well?”
“I know this isn’t just fucking,” he says, leaning across the seat and sliding his big hand behind my head. He pulls me in and kisses me hard on the mouth before drawing back. “And so do you.”
He climbs out, and I shake my head at his fucking nerve. But in truth, I wouldn’t mind meeting up. The sex is too good to ignore, and I miss the other parts, too. I miss talking to him, having him talk to me. I miss feeling needed by him, feeling like I was the only one he showed that part of himself to.
But I don’t want to make promises when I’m not sure I can keep them. I don’t know where it will lead, when I’ll freak out again and decide I can’t be around him. And I don’t want to hurt him more than he’s been hurt, not just by me, but by everyone in his life—not just the Darlings, but every single person in his family. His mother left them and from what he’s told me, doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but herself. His sister disappeared and he blames himself for it. His older brother left him to do his father’s disgusting bidding. He can’t even trust Baron and Duke anymore.
So I just head inside without making a fuss about it. I’m still working on forgiving him, but I’m also coming back to the person who wanted to know people, to study and understand them. I’m starting to understand Royal again, in the old ways and new ways, too. I’m beginning to understand why he can’t let me go, even after I betrayed him. He has no one else, no one he can be real with, no one he can trust. And even if he doesn’t trust me, he’s already told me so much that it’s easier to forgive me and keep me close than start all over, especially for someone like Royal, who doesn’t open up easily.
I always envied his family so much, especially him and his brothers. They had everything—money and power and status and family. And most of all, they seemed to have this bond. They were always together. But I know now that it’s not the brotherhood I imagined. They have each other’s backs when the world is watching, but they have secrets from each other. Baron was Mr. D. Royal was turning tricks. And Duke… I still don’t know Duke’s secrets.
Maybe it’s just the open secret, the thing everyone knows but no one says—that he’s obviously an alcoholic or well on his way. I remember him falling off the porch at Preston’s house. Everyone laughed because it was just classic Duke with his drunken antics. He’s seventeen, what do people expect? They’ll laugh it off, and he’ll go off to college and binge-drink his way through four years in a frat, and then be the drunk uncle at every family gathering. And that’s the best-case scenario.
Even though it’s already getting light out, I can’t sleep. I lie there thinking about Royal, wanting to text him like some dumb bitch who can’t wait five seconds after a guy leaves before I miss him. I should be getting my own shit together. I should be looking into getting back into the fight scene, into the poker games. I haven’t spent much from my stash, but I haven’t added anything either.
I remember saying money solved everything, but it really only solves one thing. It can get me out of town. But it doesn’t fix the town’s problems. It doesn’t get rid of Mr. Dolce. It doesn’t make Duke stop drinking or cure Baron of being a psychopath. It didn’t make their mom stay, and it doesn’t bring their sister back. At the end of the day, despite Royal’s money and power and status and family, he’s as alone as I am.
*
On Monday morning, I’m walking into school when Baron comes storming out of the office.
“Fucking cunt,” he growls at me.
“Good morning to you, too,” I say, giving him my most cheerful smile.
“You’re going to pay for this,” he says, glowering at me.
I quirk a brow. “It’s early to start shit, even for you. I haven’t had my caffeine yet, so just enlighten me. What’d I do this time?”
“You went after the wrong Dolce,” he says, his eyes narrowing. “Trust me, Dad won’t let you off with a slap on the wrist like Royal did.”
I hook my thumbs through my backpack straps in an outwardly casual pose, though my stomach is clenched with dread. “That’s what you call what you did to me last spring? A slap on the wrist?”
“By the time this is over, you’re going to wish you’d never walked out of that swamp.”
Baron turns on his heel and shoves out the front door, leaving me standing there blindsided and still in the dark, my least favorite place to be.
At least I know where to go for information. I sigh and head down the hall, keeping an eye out for Dixie. I’ve been at this school long enough to pick up a vibe that something weird is going on. The clusters of people whispering and gossiping, a few too many glances in my direction… It’s all a little too reminiscent of last year.
I stop at my locker, relieved when Josie appears at hers a minute later. She flashes me a grin, the first one she’s ever given me, before propping her bag on her knee as she spins the dial on her combination. “The admin’s definitely feeling the pressure now,” she says, sounding downright gleeful.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Too early to know what’ll come of it, but we definitely stirred things up,” she says, finally looking like she respects me instead of thinking I’m some rich bitch who’s going to make her life hell.
“How, exactly?” I ask, closing my locker.
“Oh my god, Harper,” Gloria says, sweeping up beside me, looking all flustered. She links her arm through mine, squeezing it so tight against hers it’s almost painful. “You’re famous!”
I glance around, the knot of dread in my belly hardening as I see people turning to look, alerted by her volume.
“We better get your makeup on in case anyone wants a photo op,” she says, dragging me down the hall.