“I want a bodyguard,” she says, skipping along the sidewalk, her hair uncombed, her skinny ankles bare below too-short jeans.
“How about I’ll be your bodyguard?” I offer.
“Really?” she asks, looking up at me suspiciously.
“Sure,” I say, then give her a wink. “But just for today. I’m too rich to be a full-time bodyguard.”
“How’d you get so rich, anyway?” she asks, jumping over another crack in the sidewalk.
“My dad’s the CEO and founder of Dolce Sweets. It’s a candy business.”
“You own a candy business?”
“Pretty much.”
“So, you’re basically like Willy Wonka.”
“Sure,” I say, laughing. “Or the Candyman.”
“Wow.” She slips her little hand into mine and clings on as she jumps over another line on the sidewalk. Her fingers are icy cold, and even though pretty much everyone thinks I’m the shit, I swear some fucking part of me dies that this scruffy little kid without a jacket thinks I’m so cool.
I’m actually disappointed when we get to Gloria’s house. I’m not sure I’ve ever had fun hanging out with someone I couldn’t fuck before. I’m pretty sure it says something about me, probably that I am a fucking weirdo, even if I know better than to ask a kid to sit on my lap.
Gloria seems as enamored with Olive as I am, and she takes her to the garage to poke around. I stand there for a minute finishing my beer, resenting Gloria and annoyed with Olive for being more interested in showing off that she can already check the engine oil than walking back home to see my Hummer.
But then I think of the fucking evil that infects everyone in my house, and I decide it would be shitty to take her back there and let it infect her, too. It’s already in me. Whatever’s wrong with me has taken root and won’t let go. But it’s not too late for her. So, I text Harper and tell her where to find Olive, and then I leave her under the hood of the Mustang with Gloria, and I walk home alone.
thirty-five
Royal Dolce
I’m sitting on the balcony outside my room when the window slides open behind me. I don’t turn. It’s been ten days, but I’m still not ready for the conversation I know is coming. Each day we’ve avoided each other, finding reasons to stay busy and put it off. Right now, the house is too full of noise and chaos and people for private conversation, like its days of mourning are over and it’s time to celebrate. Funny, since they’re all here for the funeral.
“Help an old lady out, would you?” demands a grumpy voice from my room.
“Nonna,” I say, jumping to my feet. I reach through the window and lift her out, squeezing my tiny grandmother until she lets out a few Italian curses. I laugh and set her down.
“Well, look at you,” she says, patting my cheek, a mischievous grin making the corners of her eyes crinkle. “I hear you’re in love. Can she cook?”
“Who the fuck said that?” I ask. “I don’t know what that word means.”
She laughs and flops down in one of my deck chairs, a chaise lounge looking out toward the burned rubble of Devlin’s old house. “Make sure she can make the lasagna you like. I can give her your nonno’s recipe. I pass it on to all my grandchildren when they get married.”
“Did you give it to Crystal?” I ask sourly, taking the seat in the chaise beside hers.
“Of course I did,” she says. “I have to make sure it’s her kids’ favorite, too.”
“Harper’s not really the cooking type,” I mutter. “And we’re not getting married.”
She checks the windows behind us before pulling out her pack of cigarettes. “Give me a lighter, would you?”
“If you’re smoking, I’m smoking,” I say, pulling out the box where I keep my joints. I take one out, light up, and pass my grandmother the lighter.
She lights one of her tiny Virginia Slims and lays back, closing her eyes while she inhales deeply and then exhales. “You know, your sister-in-law Eliza told me something her grandmother told her,” she says after a sigh of satisfaction. “A woman can only be good in one room in the house. You pick the room.”
“Nonna,” I say slowly, dragging on the joint. “Do you know what TMI means?”
She laughs. “Your cousin told me that one last year. Apparently, young people don’t appreciate the wisdom of their elders the way they once did.”