“If you asked me to sit in your lap,” she says promptly.
“Good call,” I say. “But, like, if you want to hang out with a girl, there’s one down the street who might know what to do with you. She’s really cool. She’s a cheerleader. Want to meet her?”
Olive wrinkles her nose. “My sister says cheerleaders are backstabbing bitches.”
I nod. “That’s fair. So, what are kids for, anyway?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, what’s the point of you existing?”
“Oh,” she says, brightening. “Well, I like to dance, and ride my bike, and Hula hoop, and try on my sister’s clothes when she’s not home. But mostly, I like cars. I’m going to be a mechanic one day, and I’m going to drive a Bugatti.”
That cracks me up. “You might want to look up the salary for that job before you take out a loan.”
“What’s the salary?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “But in movies, mechanics are always poor.”
“Well, my backup plan is NASCAR.”
“You’d really like my cheerleader friend,” I say. “She races cars,andshe knows how to fix them.”
“Really?” Olive asks, her eyes going wide. “Is she poor?”
“She lives in my neighborhood, if you want to walk down the street and see.”
“Okay,” she says, hopping up. She staggers a little, and I can’t help but laugh. Half a beer and she’s already stumbling.
“You okay there?” I ask, reaching out to steady her.
She belches and then giggles. “I don’t feel that good.”
“A walk will help,” I assure her. “Come on.”
“Is this your house?” she asks, twisting around to look at it as we start down the walkway. She’s still holding her half-empty bottle, and I’ve got a new one for the walk.
“Yup.”
“You’re, like, rich,” she says. “What do you drive?”
“A Hummer.”
“Can I see it?”
“Maybe when we get back.”
“Okay,” she says, taking another drink and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand like she saw me do. “So, how rich are you?”
“Medium-rich.”
“How rich is that?”
“Private school rich, but not private jet rich.”
“I’m going to be super rich.”
“Okay, but just warning you, it’s not that fun. I had super rich friends in New York, and I had it way better. I get everything I want and can do anything I want, but I don’t have to have a bodyguard following me around.”