Preston reaches out a hand, and I slip my fingers into his. He grips my hand tightly, and I realize he’s nervous.
“What’s going on there?” Royal asks, nodding at our linked hands.
“Shut up,” I say, and I reach for his hand. He hesitates before taking it. I grip both their hands, and together we cross the bridge where it all started, to see if this is where it ends.
forty-six
Harper Apple
The three of us sit in Preston’s truck, soaking wet and silent. Royal dragged me into the back seat and refused to let me sit up front with Preston, so Preston ended up climbing in the back. Now I’m sandwiched between them while the rain pounds down on the roof. The envelope rests in Preston’s hands, still unopened.
“I want to open it,” I say, reaching for it.
He hands it to me with a tight smile. “Do the honors.”
I swallow hard, turning it over in my hands. “I wish you had some of that whiskey now.”
“You could probably go lick some off the bridge,” he says. “You might get some glass with it, though.”
“Don’t tempt me,” I say.
I wouldn’t be the first person in my family to lick up spilled booze.
But I am not my mother.
I am me.
I hold the envelope, feeling the weight of it like something precious. It feels right to be the one opening it. Tonight, I took back my power. Not the kind Royal gave me, that has to do with my social standing and my position at school. That is still very much in question. I haven’t resolved things with the twins, though Baron reached out to me in whatever capacity he’s able. Duke’s still avoiding me, and I don’t know what to make of the mess with Gloria or Gideon.
But tonight’s not about them. It’s not about anyone else. It’s not about social power, it’s about personal power.
I claimed my own power, my agency. I had sex on my terms, the way it was meant to be, and it felt… Orgasmic. Not just in my body, but in my soul. Even if it was messy and unplanned, if it was with a boy I still hate as much as love, I wanted it.Neededit. I needed to remember how it was supposed to feel, not just lacking fear, but filled with recklessness and lust and passion. So I can’t regret it, even if it was a mistake. Even when I regretted it right afterwards, I knew it was different from all the times with Preston. This time, it was my mistake to make.
My choice.
Royal was my choice.
But this time, it’s not at the expense of everything else. Not at the expense of my friendships.
I forgave Royal for his part in it, not because he made some big gesture, but because I was ready.
And I confronted Preston about what he did to me. I let him know thatI knowhow fucked up it is, that I’m not okay with being treated that way, even by a man who saved my life.
I’m here, too. I’m a human, a woman, and I’m not anyone’s doll or plaything.
I’m my own person.
Finally.
At last, I feel like myself again. Even if I’m still broken and fucked up, if I’m never going to be the same, I know who this version of myself is. And maybe I was always broken. Maybe that’s how I can sit between these two twisted, damaged men and understand them, even after all they’ve done to each other and to me. Maybe that’s why I can forgive them regardless of whether they ask for it or deserve it.
“Open it,” Royal says, his voice quiet and intense.
This is a big moment for him, too. All three of us have a lot to contend with based on the contents of this envelope. Either Preston and I have to face the fact that we were basically in an incestuous relationship for six months, or Royal has to face the fact that everything he did to me was based on a false assumption.
“Wait a minute,” I say, setting the envelope on my knees and turning to him. “Baron told me that I’m a Darling. You think I am, too?”
He nods.