In the front seat, Duke’s turned toward the window, his shoulders shaking. It takes me a second to realize he’s holding back laughter. Guess my fury amuses him.
“Oh, now I raped your face?” Royal asks, jerking the steering wheel as we veer off onto a side road out of town. “The way I remember it, you were licking my dick like a fucking ice cream cone.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, was I supposed to bite into it like a Tootsie Pop?” I ask.
Duke loses it, throwing back his head and howling with laughter, falling against the door in his fit of mirth.
Royal shoots him an annoyed glance. “When a chick’s slobbering all over my dick like a bulldog, I’m pretty sure she’s enjoying herself.”
“And you just couldn’t have that,” I say. “Is that why you made it as ugly as possible? To make sure I didn’t get any pleasure whatsoever out of it? Or were you more worried about how much pleasure you were getting out of it?”
Baron’s watching me with that intense focus he had in the basement when Royal said he wanted me all to himself, like he’s barely keeping himself from pouncing on me. I scoot away from him as subtly as I can.
“I don’t give a shit about your pleasure,” Royal snaps from the driver’s seat. “I was worried about you biting my dick off.”
I shrug and turn toward the window, watching the grey blur of tears slipping by. “You call me a slut because I dare to enjoy sex. Is that why it pisses you off so much? Because I have the nerve to enjoy sex when you can’t?”
“My dick was in your mouth,” Royal growls, sounding beyond irritated. “I had you on your knees like a whore, right where you belong. Trust me, I was enjoying it.”
“But were you actually enjoying the blowjob?” I ask. “Were you enjoying the way my tongue moved, or the way my mouth suctioned around your cock? Did you like it when my teeth grazed your skin? Did you even feel what I was doing?”
“Dude, pull over,” Duke says. “I want in the backseat with her. I’m getting hard just listening to her.”
Royal adjusts the rearview mirror so he can see me. “What the fuck are you getting at, Jailbird?”
The truth is, I’m not sure. I feel almost shaky with the power I have right now. I can feel it coursing up inside me, the certainty I’m so close to something, some deeply buried truth.
“Do you actually enjoy sex?” I ask again. “I mean, it’s still fun even if you don’t cum, but isn’t that kinda the end goal for most people?”
“Just shut up,” Royal snaps. “Your ridiculous babbling makes my head hurt worse.”
“Did I hit a nerve?” I taunt, feeling reckless, high with the thrill of unraveling the mysterious Royal Dolce. I like figuring people out. It’s a sickness, really. Or maybe I’m poking the beast because I get the feeling he’ll be my undoing either way, so why not figure out why before he eats me alive? “If you don’t enjoy sex, then what are you getting out of it? Is it just a power trip for you? That’s why you enjoyed me sucking your dick, right? Not because I’m good, because then you would have let me do my thing. You just liked seeing me on my knees, knowing I was powerless, that you could do anything you wanted to me, and I couldn’t stop you. Did it make you feel like a big man to see me on my knees for you, Royal?”
“I said, shut up,” he says, his voice low and hollow. I can see one hand on the wheel, his knuckles white under the scrapes and blood on them.
“I’ll shut her up,” Baron says with a shrug, reaching for his belt. “I thought you didn’t want my dick in her, but if you’re good with it…”
I lean across the seat and give him a wolfish grin. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll suck your secrets out through your dick, too?”
“Okay, psycho,” he says, his dark eyes positively feral behind his glasses, though his words are cool. “Anatomy lesson—there are only two things that come out of a man’s penis, and the truth ain’t one of them.”
Duke snorts with laughter again.
“I’m just curious,” I say, “how it’s possible for men to feel powerful in a situation like that. Are you really so caught up in your ego that you can’t see how small that really makes you? I mean, sure, you took all my clothes and my dignity. You put me on my knees. But I didn’t kneel and worship you. It took three men twice my size to physically force me into a posture of submission and get a dick in my mouth. And you were still so afraid of me that you had to immobilize me while you asserted your dominance. Tell me, how does that make you feel powerful, not tiny and weak and ashamed of yourselves?”
“Put your dick in her mouth or I will,” Duke says, his voice edged with flint. “She obviously needs a pacifier to suck on.”
“Yeah, Baron,” I say, running my nails down his bicep. “You better protect your brothers. They’re getting awfully jumpy, and can you blame them? After all, there’s nothing scarier than a girl who speaks the truth.”
“Where the fuck are you going?” Baron barks.
I jerk back, confused for a second when I think he’s talking to me. But then I see his gaze has snapped to the bridge ahead. It’s a one-lane bridge, the same one where Royal took me on Halloween night, when we started hooking up before he abruptly put the brakes on.
“I was just driving,” Royal mutters. He’s still staring straight ahead, still gripping the wheel with white knuckles.
“And you just drove here?” Duke asks incredulously.
I want to ask what’s wrong with here, since it seems like a good place to rape a girl and toss her body in the river, but instinct stops me. I may goad them like a brat when I have a point to make, but here’s the thing. I’m not a brat. I know when to keep my mouth shut. You learn to read the room real young when your mom’s a peach like mine. And whatever was happening in the car a minute ago, it’s over. Something else is happening now, something that’s sucked the air out of the car and dropped the temperature ten degrees, like a ghost just squeezed into the seat between Baron and me. The hair on my arms rises.