But I could also use the money I’ll get tonight. To be honest, I could use the fight, too. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of fists on skin, the shock that races up my arm, the burning of my muscles when I fight hard. I need my fix at the end of the week, and what I got from Gloria was just a taste.
After school, everyone else goes running off toward the stadium for a pep rally, bouncing around and whooping with excitement. Football rules our town, like a lot of southern small towns. I guess even stately schools full of snobs are not immune. I’ve never been into the whole sports scene, so I’ve never cared. My friends and I showed our school spirit by skipping the pep rallies and ditching school for an hour. But here, it feels different somehow. For the first time in my life, not participating makes me feel left out, like I’m missing something important. And not just the game. It’s not about that. It’s about bonding, about community.
What is this school doing to me? Why do I fucking care about being part of their community?
I shake my head at my foolishness and climb on my rickety bike and start for home. I can hear the roar of the crowd, a chant starting up as everyone gets their fill of school spirit. The sound carves out a hollow inside me, one that stays long after the cheers have faded behind me.
But that’s okay. The Dolces don’t need another fangirl, and I don’t want to be one. While the whole town cheers them on, I’ll quietly kick ass in a much less obnoxious, attention-seeking way. It doesn’t matter if there’s a thousand people at their game and only a hundred at the fights. I don’t need a whole town to lift me up. I don’t need friends to show up for me and show their support. They can go gawk at the boys like everyone else.
I’ll cheer for my own damn self.
*
Fucked Up Football
Dad knew what it took
To buy the soul of the town.
All the money in the world
Couldn’t get us a key to the city
But a Hail Mary pass
Might.
Dad knew what it took
To win the heart of this town.
Risking his son’s life
For the love of football
Was a move the whole town
Respected.
Dad knew what it took
To claim the crown in this town.
Everyone was watching
To see if we were villains or heroes
It all depended on whether we
Scored.
twelve
Harper Apple
MrD: I heard you got in a little tussle at school today.
BadApple: Who the fuck r u?