“And I can get another,” he says. “It doesn’t mean shit to me.”
I wince at the reminder of what my brothers did to the car that did mean something to him. “I’m sorry,” I say. “About your other car.”
He shrugs. “It gives me an excuse to spend time with my dad building a new one.”
If he doesn’t go to jail,I think. God, this is so fucked up.
I swallow hard before climbing across the seat. Devlin puts the top down so I don’t have to duck my head while sitting on his lap in the small car. Then he pulls the seatbelt around us both and snaps it into place.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to double up in a seatbelt,” I say, ignoring the thudding of my heart. “Then we’ll both be crushed to death if I wreck.”
“If you die, I’m going down with you,” Devlin says, squeezing me against him. “Besides, I can’t really think of a better way to die than crushed up against you.”
“I’d choose a heart attack during sex,” I say. “Sorry to the guy who’s fucking me, but I’m selfish like that.”
“You’re twisted as fuck, you know that, Dolce?” Devlin says.
“I think we both know that.”
“Stop talking about sex while you’re in my lap, or I’ll pull up your skirt and fuck you while you’re driving, and we’ll both get our death wish.”
“Fine, what do I do?” I ask, but I can’t stop thinking about what he said. I can’t stop feeling dizzy and intoxicated from inhaling the scent of him so close to me. I can’t stop feeling his body against mine, his strong thighs under mine; his taut abs and muscular chest pressing to my back with each breath; the relentless, demanding ridge of his erection growing under me.
“First, take off your shoes,” he says. “I don’t know how you even walk in those, but you’re not driving my car in them.”
“Isn’t that illegal or something?”
“Nah,” he says. “That’s how I learned. You can really feel the pedals, how much pressure to use, with bare feet.”
“That’s so redneck of you,” I tease.
“Shut up and drive.”
I laugh, and he guides me out of the parking lot and then through town. He takes the steering wheel when he needs to, coaches me through restarting when I stall out at a stop sign, and taps the brake when I’m not quick enough. And all the time, he acts like he’s not hard as a rock under me, like his cock isn’t burning into me and lighting me on fire. If it weren’t for the fact that I can feel his desire throbbing against me, I’d believe he didn’t feel anything for me anymore.
By the time we pull up in his driveway, I’m squirming on his lap, the heat between my thighs an unbearable, wet ache.
“That was quite a ride,” he murmurs against my shoulder as his hand finds the seatbelt and unbuckles. The pressure holding our bodies together releases, and an anguished cry ripples through every cell in my body. I bite my lip to keep it from bursting from my lips.
I twist around to face him, my breath already labored, desperation eating me up from within. “Devlin,” I whisper. “Can we go inside?”
“I… Don’t think that’s a good idea,” he says, glancing up at his big house.
“Are your parents home?”
“It’s not that.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, twisting around further so I can slide my hand behind his neck. “I’m so fucking sorry I said all those things to you. And I know I’m not supposed to want this, but I don’t care. I want it, anyway. I want you, anyway.”
“How can you?” he asks, his hand cupping the back of my head and pulling me forward, his hand rumpling my hair as he presses his forehead to mine. “After everything I did to you—how can you do anything but hate me? I fucking hate myself.”
“I told you,” I say, stroking the back of his neck with my thumb. “I wasn’t saying no to you.”
“I’m not talking about that,” he says. “I’m talking about everything. I don’t even know where to start, or how to apologize to you, Crystal. You should despise me.”
“But I don’t,” I say, squeezing my eyes closed. My heart is beating so hard I feel dizzy, and the smell of him is making my head spin. “I care about you too much.”
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Don’t say that.”