I swallow hard and nod, even though I’m shaking with nerves at the thought of seeing Devlin. Does he even know I blocked him? That it’s over?
“I’m with you, brother,” King says, squeezing Royal’s shoulder and locking eyes with him in some silent communication of solidarity. “We’re going to make them all pay, every single Darling, down to the very last one. We won’t rest until every Darling in Faulkner is running scared. Even the ones who changed their names and hid like the fucking cowards they are.”
“That’s not really fair,” I mutter. “They were disowned by Grampa Darling.”
All four of my brothers stare at me. “They have Darling blood,” Royal says at last. “What about you, Crystal? Do you have Darling blood now, too? Or are you still a Dolce?”
My throat tightens, and I can’t swallow when I try. “Of course I’m still a Dolce,” I say, my voice choked, pain twisting inside me. My twin is looking at me like a stranger. “How can you ask me that?”
We stay locked in a staring contest until Duke pops up from the couch. I glance up to see a car turning into the Darling’s driveway. My heart flips, and I sway where I sit, my body threatening to tumble to the floor. I don’t want to do this. I can’t do it.
“Then let’s go,” King says.
“This is the best part,” Duke says with a grin.
“He’s right,” Baron says, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “Finishing a job is the most satisfying part.”
And suddenly, I know that this is my loyalty test. Devlin and I tried. We thought we could hide things from our families, but we both learned. He had to do what he did to me in the locker room to show his cousins that they came first. And I have to do this.
My legs feel numb and stiff as I walk out with my brothers. I can’t seem to breathe, to swallow. I’ve been hiding this past week, unable to face anyone. I thought he knew I was done, that he had let me off easy. That I had let him down easy, and he was leaving me alone, and I wouldn’t have to face him again. But I should have known. I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. Neither of our families would let us off that easy.
I swore I was done, that I’d given up, I wouldn’t play anymore. But what choice do I have? Even if the Darlings stop forcing me to play, my own family will make me keep going until someone wins.
Or until we all lose.
I can’t hide anymore. We’re on the lawn between our houses before I can think of what I want to say. Duke throws an arm around me from the other side, and together, the twins half-carry me across the lawn. Every step takes us nowhere. The lawn has never seemed bigger, not even the night I met Devlin out here. But before I’m ready, we’re stepping between the lilac bushes, bare and ugly now that they’ve dropped their leaves. A cold wind tugs at us, and the grey sky overhead is featureless and flat, witnessing with no emotion.
I try to draw inspiration from it, to pull the same glum numbness into myself. I’ll be strong. For my family. I’ll do what I have to do, just like Devlin did. I’ll be hard as crystal.
Devlin steps out of the garage, where his dad parked the car. He stops when he sees us. He’s wearing the same clothes he wore the night we found Royal. His dad stops beside him, and Devlin says something to him. His dad hesitates before heading toward the house.
Devlin starts toward us. I’m not going to be able to do it. I can’t. I watch him walk across the expanse of lawn, wondering if it feels as long to him as it felt for me to cross our lawn. I tell myself this is what I wanted. I wanted him to want me. To like me. To fall for me. I wanted to break him the way he broke me. I try to summon the anger, the sense of betrayal I felt when I walked out of his bedroom the morning he took my virginity.
But it all feels empty now, hollow and meaningless. I don’t hate him for that anymore. We’ve been through too much. This boy helped me find my brother, and I can never hate him for that. I felt his arms tight around me while I unzipped a body bag, thinking the worst thing in my life had come true. I drew strength from him as he held me upright while I knelt at Royal’s side, waiting for help. I saw the fear in his eyes when he thought the person he loves most was in trouble. I watched this boy take the fall for that person no fear whatsoever, his face stoic as he silently held out his wrists and let a policeman handcuff him.
How can I hate a boy who would do those things, even if he’s the same boy who did horrible things to me?
Duke and Baron drop their arms from around me as Devlin draws near. I have to do this on my own. They won’t hold me up through this one.
“This is gonna be epic,” Duke whispers in a sing-song voice.
“Be savage, like we know you can,” King says, giving my shoulder blade a little nudge. I step forward on autopilot.
I realize now that this isn’t just about destroying Devlin the way he destroyed me. This is about atonement. I did something unforgivable in our family—shamed them by being weak enough to fall under the enemy’s spell. Now, I have to prove that I’m not weak, that I’m not naïve enough to believe the lies of a snake, that I won’t do it again. This is how I prove to them that Dolce blood still runs in my veins, thicker than chocolate. This is how I show Royal that I didn’t fuck his kidnapper for fun while he was locked in a dank basement without food or water, being beaten and… Whatever it was that put that haunted look in his eyes that hasn’t gone away even now that he’s home from the hospital.
“Hey, Crystal,” Devlin says, stopping in front of us. He looks tense. He gives a little nod to my brothers. “You brought backup.”
“Yeah,” I say. Because that’s my brilliant, savage response that’s supposed to make Devlin die inside the way I did when he betrayed me. “You should appreciate the audience,” I try again. “That’s how you Darlings like to do things, right?”
Devlin swallows. His blue eyes are that frozen-lake color, the one that gives nothing away. But I know him now. I know enough to see the tiny cracks in the ice. I know I need to keep hitting until I break through.
After all, that’s my assignment. That’s how I prove that I’m worthy of being a Dolce, that I can be everything a Dolce daughter should be when she’s not a little girl anymore. Now, I fulfill the expectations of a grown-up Dolce daughter. This is the real Crystal 2.0. Not just someone different at school, someone who doesn’t need popularity, who has real friends, who stands up to bullies instead of becoming one. Crystal 2.0 is not Daddy’s baby girl anymore. She’s a snake, a woman who will seduce a boy, set fire to his heart, and watch it burn while she sits back and has a cocktail.
Devlin clears his throat. “Actually, I was hoping we could go somewhere and talk.” His eyes are fixed on me alone, his expression intense, almost vulnerable. Now is when I have to strike. His weakness was right here all along. I should have known. We’re the same, me and Devlin. We have the same weakness. Our family. The need for people to know that we’re good, that our family is good. That we’re not dirty mobsters or sadistic creeps.
“Whatever you got to say to our sister, you can say it right here,” King says, puffing up and putting a protective arm around my shoulders. It used to make me feel all safe and loved when he went all Papa Bear on me, but now, a flash of annoyance goes through me. If they’re going to make me do this, at least they can let me speak for myself.
“Look at him,” Duke says, nudging Baron. “He used to be the big man on campus. One week taking it up the ass in the slammer, and he’s turned into a little pussy.”