“I don’t hate you.”
“You will later.”
“I can’t hate you after this.”
“You will,” he says again. “But not as much as I’ll hate myself for this.”
“Wait,” I say, grabbing his arms. “A condom.”
“No,” he says, staring down into my eyes. “I want to feel you raw when I rip you open and wreck you.”
My whole body trembles, and I know I couldn’t stop him if I wanted to. And the truth is, I want to feel him, too. I want to feel his bare skin with nothing between us but this insatiable need. It’s as if every moment before this one was a dance leading to this inevitable collision, as if it were all a storm brewing. Tonight, the storm breaks. Tonight, it rages.
“Take it,” I say, and he flexes his hips, breaking me open and forcing his full length past the barrier, burying it deep inside me.
I cry out in pain, my whole body clenching. Devlin lets out a choked groan, reaching down and prying my legs open, spreading them wide and grinding himself deeper, until our hips meet. I can feel the hot length of him throbbing inside me, stretching me to bursting, and tears spring to my eyes. Devlin draws back and thrusts into me hard again, ploughing me open to take his size.
I bite down my lip so I won’t cry out again, but I can’t help it. Pain clutches me in its teeth, and it’s all I can do to keep from sobbing. Devlin leans up on his elbows for leverage and drives into me with deep, powerful thrusts. Each one draws a cry from my lips, but after a while, the cries turn from pain to pleasure. Devlin goes even harder, a primal, animal grunt escaping his throat each time he slams into me with bruising force. I want his roughness, need his violence.
“Harder,” I gasp, and he hammers into me so hard my head bangs against the headboard, over and over until I can’t do anything but hold on to him and let go of everything else in the world.
“I’m gonna cum inside you,” he says, his voice rough and wild.
“Devlin—”
“Shut up and come with me,” he says, lowering himself onto his elbows.
I wrap my arms around his neck, throw my head back and close my eyes, but Devlin takes my chin in his hand and lowers it. “Open your eyes,” he purrs.
Our gazes lock together, and he begins to move again, slowly at first and then harder again. The connection between us is so intense I can’t bear it, but I can’t close my eyes, either. Pleasure builds in my body, and I wrap my legs around him and grind myself up against him. The tension inside me coils tighter and tighter, and Devlin bites down on his lip and grabs my thigh, lifting it higher and driving into me one last time and not pulling back.
My insides feel raw and sore, and a shock of pain goes through me as he stays locked there, forcing me to take every agonizing inch of him. He grinds against me harder, his hips flexing as heat blossoms inside me when he fills me. The sensation of him spilling into me sends a shock of forbidden excitement through me, and despite the pain, my own pleasure crests again. I gasp out his name as orgasm grips me, pulses rippling through my body as he throbs inside me over and over, giving me everything.
Afterwards, Devlin collapses onto me, clutching me to his chest like something precious that he’s about to lose. I thread my fingers through his hair, holding him close and cradling his body in mine.
“I’m sorry,” he says against the crook of my neck, his voice choked.
“It’s okay,” I say, laughing a little. “Pretty sure I got more than you did today.”
He doesn’t answer, and for a long time, neither of us move. Our skin is slicked with sweat, but I only inhale his scent, relishing the salty tang of his skin and the scent of shampoo in his blond strands when I press a kiss to his head.
I’m dozing when a rap sounds on the other side of the wall. Devlin stiffens, but when the knock doesn’t sound again, he slides out of me and rolls off the bed. Turning his back, he picks up his jeans from the floor and pulls them on.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, suddenly vulnerable in this big bed alone.
“Yeah,” he says, leaning over to give me a quick kiss. “We’d better get up, though.”
I swallow hard and nod, a knot forming in my throat. I don’t want to get up in front of him, but he stands over me with a delighted grin on his face. “Now you’re shy?” he asks, his eyes glinting with humor.
“Well…”
“Crystal,” he says. “I just saw every inch of you, and went down on you, and made you cum screaming my name while I came inside you. I think we’re past being shy about nudity.”
I let out a scoff of frustration. He’s a guy—an experienced guy. Of course he wouldn’t get it. Gritting my teeth, I throw off the sheet and hop off the bed. There’s a big red stain on the white sheet where I lay.
“Fuck,” I say. “I’m sorry. I can… Pay for dry cleaning or something.”
Devlin bursts out laughing. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him genuinely laugh, and it’s even more startling than his voice. His laugh is low and rich and sweet as his voice, a sound so beautiful it twists painfully in my chest. I simultaneously wish he laughed more and am selfishly glad that I’m one of what must be a small handful of people who see something rare and genuine from Devlin Darling.