“Maybe I want you to come home. Have you ever thought about that?”
My heart felt ready to burst. “Really? That’s a different story. You’ve never said that before. You want me to come back?”
“Well, yeah, it would be nice. I barely knew you were my sister, and then you left. I feel closer to you now than I did then, but it’s not the same as you being here. It would be nice to see you before I, like, go away to college after next year. Then that’s another four years apart.”
I hadn’t thought about that. If my brother was asking me to come home, that was a gamechanger for me. I needed to at least consider it. “I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it,” I told him. “I thought you were okay with me being here.”
“I am okay with it. But…I also miss you. I’m not exactly gonna be mad if you come back.”
I smiled. “Well, okay, you’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Yeah, unfortunately, I have a lot to think about, too, after that shit I read. I wish I could erase it from my head.”
I cringed. “Please try. You were never meant to read his private thoughts. No one should read anyone else’s journal—not while the person is still alive, anyway.” I swallowed. “Also, when did you start having sex?”
He sighed. “It’s new.”
“Does Dax know?”
“He had the sex talk with me when he found out I was dating Kelsey. So I think he might know. But I haven’t told him I actually did it.”
I felt he was too young at sixteen, but it would’ve been hypocritical of me to criticize him since I’d had sex by that age.
“Well, I’m glad you’re being careful. Please use protection each and every time. You have no idea the trouble you could get into. Promise me you’ll always be careful, Rafe.”
“I will.”
Someday I’d tell him what had happened to me as a teenager. But this conversation had already been a lot.
Dax
Morgan and I were making dinner together on a Thursday evening when she started talking about weekend plans. Well, technically, she was the one making dinner; I was trying my best to stay out of her way as I set the table.
“What are you thinking for this Saturday?” she asked.
“I’m open.”
“The Turner’s Modern World exhibit is starting at the Museum of Fine Arts. We should check that out, then grab lunch.”
I set a glass down. “That sounds like a plan to me.”
“Do you think Rafe would want to go?”
“I doubt it. He’s been doing his own thing lately.”
“The girlfriend?” She grinned.
“Yeah. Still not sure how I feel about that whole thing. But at least he seems less grumpy lately.”
“Well, a pretty girl will do that.”
“Yeah, I can relate.” I winked.
She smiled up at me as she sprinkled brown sugar over the sweet potatoes. “Everything okay at work today?”
“Yeah. I’m dealing with this new client. Owner of a startup. The guy is kind of a pain in the ass.”
“Is that why you asked me to pick up wine on the way here tonight?”
“That’s exactly why I asked you to pick up wine.”
A couple of nights a week Morgan would come over after work for dinner. She mostly stayed the night on weekends but went back to her place on weeknights. Shannon appreciated the break from having to deal with dinner on the nights my girlfriend came over. Like Shannon, Morgan was an amazing cook.
I’d met Morgan at a bookstore. She and I had reached for the same copy of The Young Lions at the same time. We’d struck up a conversation, and for the first time in a while, I’d truly enjoyed a woman’s company. We went out for dinner that night, and the rest was history. That was ten months ago now.
Morgan had just made partner at the patent law firm where she worked in downtown Boston, so things were going really well for her. In some ways, she reminded me of Maren: successful, smart, driven. Like my late wife, Morgan was also tall with long, blond hair. She was beautiful. And I felt lucky to have met her, considering I hadn’t been trying to meet anyone at the time. It just happened.
After everything that went down with Wren, it had taken more than a year and a half for me to find the mental headspace to even think about dating again. I’d chosen to focus that first year after Wren left Boston on building my relationship with Rafe. As he got older and more involved with his friends, though, I came to the conclusion that I needed to get a life. While my relationship with Morgan was unexpected, it seemed to have come at just the right time. I was happier than I’d been in a while.
About a year ago, a couple of months before Morgan came into my life, I’d forced myself to move on from the idea of Wren. I’d made a decision to stop watching her cello videos and stop living in the past. Tuning in to the RenCello channel on a regular basis hadn’t been healthy—as much I’d loved…her music. I couldn’t do that to myself anymore. That mental shift had taken willpower, but it opened the door to new possibilities for me. It was probably no coincidence that I’d met Morgan soon thereafter.