"I'm still a virgin, Ty," I say, and I see a slight surprise on his face, although he doesn't want to show it. "I didn't sleep with my boyfriend in Africa because I wasn't sure that I loved him."
He swallows, still looking at me as if I’ve just slapped him in the face.
"I wanted my first time to be with someone I love," I continue, my voice shaking, "and with someone who loves me."
I feel my eyes getting wet when I say it.
I'm so in love with him, how can he not see this? How can he act like it's just another fling, pulling out a condom so rapidly as if it's not a big deal at all?
"I have to go, Ty, I'm sorry," I whisper, and a tear falls down my cheek.
I turn my face away and start getting dressed, as quickly as if this place is on fire.
"Kylie, stop, please," he begs, helping me with my dress, but I push him away.
"No, it's okay, thank you for everything, but I'm just not ready, Ty, not like that," I say, avoiding his gaze as I speak.
"Let's at least eat the cake. I want to celebrate with you," he says softly, and I feel guilty about my reaction. He prepared such a pleasant surprise for me. It’s too bad I can't enjoy it fully.
"I'm sorry, Ty." I wipe away the tear from my cheek and run outside of the gazebo, not waiting for him to follow me.
Chapter Ten
Tyler
I haven't slept for a week. I've spent every night staring at Kylie's bedroom window, waiting for her to open it.
She does this each time we have a fight. She closes the curtains on her window so I can't see what she is doing, even if I wanted to.
I used to sneak into her room almost every night before she went to Africa, but I never dared to tell her about my feelings, to touch her the way I did that night in the park.
And now I regret it.
Why the hell was I so stupid that I've spent all these years waiting until I dared to be with her? Why had I pretended that I was dating other girls while she was near?
I only wanted her to give me a sign, to say something, anything to prove to me that she cared.
But she was stubborn. She always wished me luck before a date and walked away.
And when she came back from Africa...I don't even know what happened. She changed, we both did. And I realized that I can't take it anymore; I can't pretend that I don't want her every second of my fucking life.
Because I do. I want her so much that it scares even me. I love her more than anything in this world, and I'll do whatever it takes to make her mine.
I almost had her that day. I almost told her how much I love her...
Until she walked away...
She told me she wanted to have sex with someone who loves her, someone she will fall in love with...
Does that mean that she ran away because she knows she doesn't feel that way about me?
Does that mean we'll never be friends again because now she knows how I feel about her?
The nasty school bell woke me up from my thoughts, and I'm glad it did. Two more minutes of thinking about Kylie, and I think my head is going to explode.
Luckily, it was the last class, and now I'm finally going to swimming practice.
Swimming is the only thing that helps me stay alive these days. It's the only place I can release the negative energy.