"Hmm, I see." He looked down at the cover of the book again and smirked. "You sure she wanted this book? It just doesn't seem like your mother to me."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, I think it’s awesome that you are out getting Christmas gifts, but for some reason I am sort of shocked that your mother would tell you she wanted a copy ofThe Complete Illustrated Guide of the Kama Sutra. I mean that is just something you would buy on your own," he said, turning the book around for me to the see the cover, a smile coming to his face.
I could feel my face heat as the embarrassment coursed through me. I had grabbed a book without even realizing what section I was standing in. I pulled the book from his hand and placed it back on the shelf, clearing my throat.
"What are you really doing here?" he questioned, still smirking.
"Fine, I saw you come in here. I..." A smirk settled on his face again, and I suddenly wished the words would fall from my lips instead of leaving me standing here looking foolish.
"So, you followed me?"
"Hardly. You’ve barely spoken to me all week! Barely even looked at me!" I hissed. Drew didn't say anything; he just stood there taking me in. "Was I just some kind of toy you thought you could use?"
"Lexi, come on, don't think that."
"What am I supposed to think, Drew? I went to come over to your room the other night and the door was locked. You've avoided even looking in my direction at dinner." I could feel the wave of hurt coursing through me.
"It was wrong, I know."
"Do me a favor and tell me now if I am nothing more than a fling for you. I need to know," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. It was the same defense mechanism I had used my entire life. If I crossed my arms over my heart, nothing would or could penetrate. However, I knew I had already lost that battle because with him he had already penetrated.
He stood staring back at me. "You aren't a fling for me, Lexi. I just needed to get a grip on my feelings."
I stared at him, taking in the expression on his face. I knew he wasn't lying, and his answer was enough for me to accept. I had feelings too; I just couldn't tell him how intense mine were or else he would run again, and I didn't want that. He was finally speaking to me.
"I think that right now we should keep this between us, okay?" He brushed the loose strand of hair that was in my face behind my ear and cupped my cheek.
I nodded, relishing the feel of his warm hand against my skin. I closed my eyes, thinking to myself that he might be right. Until we knew what direction, if there was one, we were heading in, it would be best not to involve others. I had to be careful; I didn't want him to know how I felt right now, and I didn't want him to know that I was in love with him. I didn't want him to run again.
I looked down at my feet and back up at him, and he shocked me by slowly leaning in and brushing his lips against mine.
* * *
"Who is comingto church with us tonight?" Mom asked as she brought over the apple pie she and I had baked fresh this afternoon.
"I think we might join you, Mom," Zach said, putting his arm around Ann Marie and pulling her chair closer to him.
"All right. What about you, Drew?"
"Nah, I think I might just stay here. I have a few things I have to get done for the office," he said, taking the carafe of coffee from Dad and pouring himself and me a cup. Just as he set the carafe down, his cell phone rang. "Speak of the devil," he mumbled, grabbing it from his breast pocket. He looked at the screen and quickly excused himself from the table.
"What about you, sweetie?" my mom asked, pulling my attention away from Drew's backside. "I think it might be good for you to go."
I fiddled with the angel on the chain of my necklace while spooning some sugar into my coffee. "I don't think so, Mom. How about I stay back and clean up this mess for you instead."
She let out a sigh as she dished out the pie and passed a plate to each person around the table. "Are you sure, Lexi?"
"Positive."
Afterward, everyone went their separate ways to get ready for church, while I stayed in the kitchen getting things organized for cleanup. I had just run a hot sink full of water when I heard Mom clear her throat behind me.
"Lexi, a man called for you today. He told me to tell you that he would hold the apartment until you called him, but he can't hold it much past the first."
I turned and looked at her and could see the questions in her eyes before she even asked them. "What else is going on, Alexa?"
Chewing the inside of my cheek, I debated making something up to tell her but decided against it. "I don't know, Mom. I am just so up in the air about...everything!"