“I know.” I swallowed hard. “Really I’m fine.” At first, I wasn’t sure she would believe me, I was sure it was written all over my face that something was wrong, but I was doing my best to pretend it wasn’t. “Goodnight,” she said finally.
“Goodnight,” I said and watched as she followed my father up the stairs. I stopped what I was doing and rested both my hands on the counter in front of me and closed my eyes. Why did I go to his hotel? It had been hard enough before but having had that one taste of him to find out he didn’t want me back ruined me.
I checked my phone and saw Jenna still hadn’t responded. As always, when I needed her, she was nowhere to be found. I continued cleaning up, putting the last few dishes into the dishwasher. Then I washed down the counters, while thoughts of Logan ran through my mind. I could still feel the way he touched me, kissed me. It all still so fresh in my mind.
I wiped the counters again until there was nothing left to wipe and switched the kettle on, grabbing a mug from the cupboard. My phone vibrated on the counter while I was waiting for the kettle to boil. Jenna had finally gotten back to me, with two little words practically screaming at me on my screen. CALL ME.
I grinned at Jenna’s response. It wasn’t every day your best friend sent you a distress signal. I waited to call her until after I poured the boiling water into my mug and went down to the basement. I didn’t want anyone to overhear our conversation. I sat in my dad’s lazy boy, covered my legs with the blanket that rested there and flipped the TV on to help drown out the noise. Then, with my hands shaking, I dialed her number.
“Hey, buttercup, what’s up?” Jenna’s bubbly voice rang into my ear.
“Hey. I did it.” My voice was void of all emotion it normally held. She would be able to tell something was wrong, I was sure.
“What did you do? What are you talking about?” she asked as I sat staring at the floor in front of me. I didn’t know how to tell her and debated just hanging up before making a fool of myself more so than I already had. “Leah, are you all right?”
“Remember how I sent you a text and told you Logan came home.”
“Yes, you told me you were going to poison him,” she said laughing. “Oh my god, you didn’t?” Her voice taking on a more serious tone.
“Worse.” I could barely spit the words out of my mouth. “I slept with him.” No sooner had the words fallen from my lips, the tears poured down my face.
I heard the screeching of brakes in the background, which pulled me out of my reverie. “Are you okay, Jenna?”
“I literally had to pull over, so I didn’t crash my car. I think the signal cut out, who did you say you slept with?”
“Logan,” I whispered.
“My god! What happened? How did it happen?”
“It just . . . happened. I went over to his hotel the other night and, like always, we argued and then the next thing I knew I was pushed up against the wall, his lips on mine. Then we moved to the bed, he was on top of me and well, one thing led to another.”
“Just once, right?”
“Why does that matter?” I blurted into the phone.
“Maybe we can erase it from your mind. In case you forgot, I took that seminar on how to clear negative thoughts and events from your mind.”
I rolled my eyes; this was so like Jenna and her gypsy ways. She had sat through a two-hour seminar on clearing your aura, karma, whatever you call it and she thought she could make everyone’s pain go away.
“It was three times . . . still think you can work your guru magic?”
“Leah, what in the ever-loving fuck are you doing? Do you need to be reminded that he’s your stepbrother? I mean I know you have crushed on him for years, but this is . . .”
“Don’t tell me something I don’t already know, Jenna, he already firmly reminded me of that.”
“Of what?”
“What do you think? About three hours after he had finished completely blowing my fucking mind, he was very quick to remind me of who we were to one another and that it couldn’t go any further than it already had,” I said starting to panic all over again.
“Okay, Leah, calm down, so you slept with him, it’s okay, it’s over. I mean you didn’t want to take it any further, right?”
I didn’t answer her right away, all I could think about was the fact that I had wanted it to go further—much, much further. “What’s wrong?” Her words in my ear pulled me back to the conversation at hand.
“His words were ‘I’m okay with a fling, but nothing more, need I remind you that we are practically related.’ Then tonight he invites me back to the hotel again.” I couldn’t help the tears that ran down my face. I was an absolute mess.
“Seriously, Leah, what a jerk. Please, don’t go. Just put it behind you. You move in less than forty-eight hours. Even if you both wanted to, you wouldn’t be able to get into a relationship with him now.”
“Yes, I am leaving, but I’m moving to the same city he is living in, did you forget?”