Ray stopped what he was doing and turned to face me. “He was a good-looking guy.”
“I know I haven't told you much about him other than he passed away.”
“No, you haven't.”
“He was a firefighter. They were fighting a fire in an apartment building just outside of Greyfield. He was doing search and rescue on the fifth floor. They had reports two people were still inside, so he went in. It was just a routine part of his job he had done thousands of times. He was on the last floor, at the last two apartments. He took a step, and the floor collapsed under him, and he fell two floors. When he fell, he hit his head and cracked his helmet. He suffered smoke inhalation, and when they found him, he was unconscious. He was rushed to the hospital where they decided to keep him overnight for observation. I stayed with him for most of the evening, but he was adamant I go home. He went into cardiac arrest later that night and passed away. He’s my inspiration why I wanted to do this book drive. When those families lost their loved ones in that fire last summer, I felt a strong need to give back. I know what that kind of loss is like first-hand, and it breaks my heart to know every one of those men had young kids who will grow up without their dads.”
“Oh, Cass, I had no idea.”
“Don't be silly, of course, you didn't know,” I smiled, trying to make him feel comfortable again.
“So, is that when you gave up your writing career?”
“It was around that time, yes. I was just drowning. But I got an email the other night. I was approached by an author friend of mine, and they are working on an anthology. They want me to join them and write something for it. I told them I would do it.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“Honestly, yes, it would be a good comeback for me. I could re-cover and publish all my other books again, rebrand myself, and get back out there.”
“What about the store?”
“Well, I'd still do that, of course, until, you know, things pick up for me. I used to be pretty popular.”
“I see. I just don't see how you can do both, Cass. I think you're taking on too much.”
I had been so excited about this, but I instantly quieted down. How one person could deflate you in an instant was beyond me. But at the sign of his displeasure, that was exactly how I felt, completely deflated, instead of supported.
“I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I’ll see how it goes, but you're probably right.”
“I know I am, you'll see. You barely have time now for anything. And you can't afford to hire anyone at the shop. I saw your books, I know.”
I hung my head as he passed me my plate and a can of pop and opened the pizza box, displaying a large pepperoni pizza with mushrooms. I grabbed two slices from the box and followed Ray into the living room. I honestly felt like I could cry. I had worked so hard, but the truth was, my passion just didn't lie with running the bookstore, and that was part of the problem. My passion was writing, and maybe if it took off for me again, I could get rid of the store or possibly keep both. Or maybe he was right, and I was being silly even thinking that.
We ate in silence, watching the news. Afterward, we sat on the couch in the quiet, talking about our day. When Ray finally became quiet, I checked the time on my watch.
“Ray, I should go, it's getting late.” Truth was, I had wanted to leave as soon as he started putting me down, but I had sucked it up. I grabbed our plates and headed into the kitchen.
“You can just leave those on the counter. I'll take care of them.”
“You sure? I don't mind washing them up.”
“I'm positive.”
I placed the dishes on the counter and headed to the front door, Ray following behind. He grabbed my coat from the hook, helping me put it on. I spun around and met Ray's chest. He reached out and grabbed my hair to pull it out of my jacket, grazing my neck with his fingers as he did so.
We stood for a moment, looking into one another's eyes, saying nothing. Ray slowly leaned in, getting closer and placed a soft kiss on my mouth. He pulled back a little, looking deeper into my eyes, placing his hands on my waist.
I bit my bottom lip. His eyes never leaving mine, he leaned in again and kissed me again, deeper this time, pulling me against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, his rough hands grazing my bare skin as my shirt rose.
“I’m sorry it was a bad day. Stay the night with me,” he whispered as he pulled me against him tighter, deepening the kiss more, his hand running up my shirt, cupping my breast, brushing his thumb over my hardened nipple. I could feel his hardness pressing into my thigh. He continued his assault down my neck, slowly removing my jacket from my shoulders.
“I guess I could stay for a bit.” I moaned as he met my mouth again. I let my jacket fall to the floor as he picked me up and carried me up the stairs toward the bedroom.
* * *
I stoodoutside Ray’s frontdoor. He kissed the top of my shoulder.
“Ray I have to get going, it's late. I still have a little work to get done tonight. I didn't have a lot of time at work today to get the outline for this book done, and I have a deadline to hit.”