Better now than later.
She sobbed, letting her tears flow. She still hadn’t moved from the door. The images of the sexy woman in the red dress snuggling up to Gage kept playing out behind her eyes, over and over again. He was obviously fine with fucking anyone that crossed his path.
No wonder he got so freaked out. A baby would really jam up that lifestyle.
Rylee got up and shuffled across her apartment, heading for her bedroom. She grabbed a pack of double chocolate chip cookies on the way and collapsed in bed, wrapping blankets around herself for comfort.
I’m really doing this by myself. He’s not going to do a damn thing. I have to accept this.
Rylee didn’t mind being a single mom. She knew she could give her baby all the love it needed and more. She just hoped that her heart would stop yearning for Gage. Her head was already making all the necessary plans to continue without him. She just had to stop wishing for him to be something he clearly wasn’t.
Sighing, Rylee put the cookies on the nightstand, rubbing her belly as tears slid down her cheeks.
“Don’t worry, bubba,” she said softly. “I love you so much. Everything will be okay. Mommy’s heart hurts right now, and she’s sad, but we’ll make it through this together.”
Even though she couldn’t stop crying, the thought of her child comforted her enough so she could drift off to sleep.
When the light began to filter through the windows announcing the day, Rylee tried to bury herself under the covers. She had been very deeply asleep, and she still felt exhausted. It was going to be a good day to stay in bed.
As hard as she tried to go back to sleep, it just wouldn’t come. She sighed, heading to the bathroom. Her stomach growled, and immediately, Rylee started thinking about breakfast. She was really looking forward to this “unapologetically getting fat” that the others had talked about.
Rylee had a long, hot shower, wrapping herself in a thick robe afterward. She felt much better already, and she knew breakfast would make her feel even better. It wasn’t until she got to the kitchen that she realized all she had was a dozen bags of chocolate chip cookies.
Her stomach growled stubbornly, but Rylee knew she needed more sustenance than that. She grudgingly got dressed and went out for a grocery run, consoling herself with the idea she could take a nap when she got back.
As she opened her door, she was so focused on where she was going that she almost didn’t notice the pile of rags on the floor. Before she had time to wonder why someone would have left it there, it shuddered, coughed, and looked at her.
“Gage?” she cried, standing over him in shock. He sat up, hands out toward her.
“Rylee, please…”
“What the hell are you doing here? Why did you sleep in the hall…for fuck's sakes, Gage, you still have a key!”
She vaguely remembered that she hadn’t even drawn the bolt last night. He could have just walked in, but he hadn’t even tried.
“You didn’t even knock…” she went on, realizing that even if he had, she wouldn’t have opened the door. She couldn’t take a shock like this first thing in the morning, especially when all she wanted to do was slap him again.
“Rylee, please. I need to talk to you…”
“No!” she cried, her surprise and shock giving way to righteous anger. “Fuck off.”
She started to back away, getting ready to slam the door on him. She had nothing left to say. She just wanted him gone. When he stood up and reached for her, she took a big step back, glaring at him as if daring him to touch her.
What she saw in his eyes stopped her in her tracks. His big, dark eyes looked cracked and broken. There was more despair in them than she had ever seen. He was in terrible, relentless pain, and he was looking at her as if she were the only cure.
“Gage …” she whispered, pausing. In that brief moment, he reached out and put his arms around her, pulling her gently to his chest.
As their bodies came together, he made a small sound, something like a sob. The emotion behind the sound made Rylee shiver as if she might start to cry again for entirely new reasons.
He didn’t hold her too tightly. She could have pulled away easily if she had wanted to. There was something in his embrace that made her stay. She could feel the intensity of his emotions, a great storm inside him that was slowly destroying him.
“I didn’t sleep with her, Rylee,” he whispered against her shoulder. “I swear it. I haven’t slept with anyone … except you for such a long time.”
Mentioning the other woman was the wrong thing to say. Rylee stepped back, taking his hands off her and glaring at him.
“I promise!” he cried. “Ask my friends. They’ll tell you.”
“Your friends?” Rylee snapped, folding her arms across her chest. “Your friends didn’t know about me. How does that prove anything?”